This is the fourth in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.

Today’s show: SAVED BY HEATH BELL

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The following comes to us from NotGraphs reader Brian Reinhart — a gentleman’s gentleman, and a nerd’s nerd. By now, I trust you’re all familiar with FanGraphs: The Game. If you’re not, I’ll wait. Brian will, too; he’s polite like that. Anyway, Mr. Reinhart is reporting — and our Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has confirmed this — that a “grittily rebooted edition” of The Game is about to be released. And, well, he had us at “grittily.” Inspiring work, Mr. Reinhart. Thank you.

We are pleased to announce that, following the success of FanGraphs: The Game, beta testing has completed on a grittily rebooted edition, and FanGraphs: The Game: Washington Nationals DL Edition is ready for the fantasy-sporting, slightly-too-macabre public. The rules, as ever, are simple:

1. Every week, participants choose one member of the Washington Nationals whom they believe will make a trip to the disabled list, and specify the injury type.
2. Participants earn 10 points for every accurate prediction, as well as 5 points for specifying the correct injury type but the incorrect player, and 3 points for identifying an injured player but forecasting the wrong affliction.
3. It is possible to earn 5 points for accurately predicting a setback to a previously-DLed player.

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Brawlin’ Bartender.

Dayn Perry did a all-drinkers team, and I’ve done an all-ugly team, but there’s one team in between the two that deserves mention. It’s the cast of characters on the beer-league baseball team that make up the Best Bar in Baseball.

Walk in the front door, and the first person you’ll notice is Jon Rauch. That’s because he’s both the bartender at this mythical bar, as well as the tallest, meanest-looking tatted biker type you might find in baseball. He’s the tallest person in the major leagues, but he’ll more likely be proud of a lesser-known stat: he’s the tallest person to hit a major league home run and it came off of Roger Clemens. He’s not a man of a ton of words, though, so you’ll order your Lagavulin neat or your Old Rasputin Nitro (of course this bar has good whiskey and craft beers, why wouldn’t it) and look for a seat at the bar.

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It may not have been Hamiltonian, but Joey Votto hit three homeruns yesterday.

Upon striking the last of the homeruns — a grand slam — Votto did a little skip out of the batter’s box. When duplicated, reversed, looped, and GIF’d, said skip has the potential to create a veritable dance craze:

GIF after the jump.

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So, while patiently waiting for Pitchers on Toilets to go viral, I remembered that memes do not make themselves. And that we have before us a world full of comic juxtapositions just waiting to be comically juxtaposed. And also that it is Monday, and that there is really no better way to start the work week than with Bob Davidson in pointy breastplates. Click to embiggen.

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This is the third in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.

Today’s show: LEAVE IT TO WEAVER

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Based on the above evidence, I think it’s safe to say that Lawrie is, in fact, Big Blue.

This one comes to us via the fine, hard-working Canadian folks at theScore’s Getting Blanked, and I love it for a number of reasons:

1. The camera angle is perfect. I mean, just perfect. Watching Ron Gardenhire watch it all go so wrong is so very pleasing.
2. This is what deserves to happen when you try to bunt in a run. God is great, sometimes.
3. It has everything to do with the Toronto Blue Jays, which means I had no choice, really, but to post it. Sorry, Chairman Cistulli.
4. It’s a pleasant reminder that the days of watching Edwin Encarnacion at the hot corner are long gone, never to return. Brett Lawrie is very, very good. (And only 22!) Not many guys make that play. Seriously, just imagine how Enarnacion — God love him — would have butchered that play.

H/Ts: @BlueJaysChirps, for putting the video together. And follow @GettingBlanked. Do it. Please?

Vitals:

Game: Out of the Park Baseball 13
Platform: PC
Developer: OOTP Developments
Modes: Franchise
Cool Features: Incredible contracts system, massive player and coaches database, complete customizability, and plenty of add-ons.

Here’s my video analysis of the game. It’s long and full of jumpy cuts. You’ll hate it.
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Here are three depressing baseball caps.

The first one is of Kirk Cameron’s birthday party, which features Subway sandwiches — one already half-eaten by someone who, later that day, would receive a sobering diagnosis — and a shit cake. Looking on in mounting desolation are two female sales professionals and the lives and paneled office in which they are encased.

And this is a cap featuring the motorcar that euthanized Camus.

And here the hell is Larry the Cable Guy speaking at some presumable length, like Cicero before his tongue was tugged out and served as an antipasto, about the U.S. economy.

There exists a world in which entire television networks are devoted to the movement of currencies. There also exists a world in which at least one of these networks has invited Larry the Cable Guy to instruct the wrathful-upon-sofas as to what is wrong with what is wrong, insofar as quantitative easing and Keynesian multipliers are concerned.

Both worlds are ours. Hump us in the faces one and all, both worlds are ours.

Before the existence of the NotGraphs Investigative Reporting Investigation Team, what happened in the Texas Rangers dugout, stayed in the Texas Rangers dugout. No more.

Joe Nathan: You nasty.

H/T: DAILY DOSE OF BASEBALL. Yes, in all caps.