MLB TeeVee: Saved By Heath Bell

This is the fourth in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.

Today’s show: SAVED BY HEATH BELL

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INT. BAYSIDE HIGH — HALLWAY

ZACK, SLATER, JESSIE, KELLY, LISA, SCREECH, and HEATH hang out by the lockers.

JESSIE
So, guys, I think I’m addicted to caffeine pills.

HEATH
That’s probably not a good idea, Jessie.

SLATER
Yeah, that’s probably not a good idea.

JESSIE
But I have so much going on. Finals, singing group, closing for the Marlins.

HEATH
Wait, that was my job.

JESSIE
Yeah, not anymore.

HEATH
What? They signed me to a huge contract. I have 137 saves, a streak of three straight All-Star appearances, and I blow 3 saves and all of a sudden the past three seasons don’t count? That’s crazy.

ZACH
No, what’s crazy is that we always thought Slater was a jock, but he’s like one-tenth the size of you, Heath. It’s only compared to me and Screech that he seemed like this macho guy.

SLATER
Hey!

HEATH
So I’m a middle reliever now? That’s what I’ve become? I think I should start taking some of your pills, Jessie.

JESSIE
No problem. I have a ton of them. I got them from Ozzie Guillen.
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