So Your Team Is Out of It…

This is an introductory bit to a “study” that will manifest over the next couple of days at NotGraphs.

The Aim of the So-Called “Study”

What it aims to do is guide readers (and thus, baseballing fanatics) who might otherwise feel ambivalent to results these waning days of Major League Baseball’s regular season and during the postseason especially. It seeks to guide such readers towards enthusiasm for a team or teams for which they would not have otherwise have had enthusiasm for in said waning days.

I don’t guarantee, of course, that if you are one of the aforementioned ambivalent parties, that this “study” will be imbue a new energy to you. I cannot ensure that the “findings” or any suggestions that I might make based on the findings will be surprising or insightful, merely that they will be interesting or fun. Further, I am aware that some of you will not like whatever these findings — or their author — suggest, because you, like almost all fans, I imagine, will be prejudiced against certain teams to begin with, or because you will disagree with my methodology, or because you dislike me, or because you dislike your life and thus dislike most things that comprise it.

Rather, this “study,” while it aims to direct ambivalent readers towards energetic fanaticism once again, mostly aims to provide fun info.
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Rebus Time!

It’s been way too long since we did this. For today’s installment (difficulty level = 7), we mangle the title of a well-known poem.

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Romney Picks Ryan

Over the weekend, Mitt Romney chose Paul Ryan of Wisconsin to be his running mate on the Republican ticket. I wish to make the case that Romney chose the wrong Ryan.

Paul Ryan: Wisconsin (10 electoral votes)
Nolan Ryan: Texas (38 electoral votes)

Paul Ryan: Chairs the House Budget Committee
Nolan Ryan: Owns a major league baseball team

Paul Ryan: Early jobs included camp counselor, Oscar Mayer Weinermobile driver (seriously, if Wikipedia is to be believed), mail-opening intern, and marketing consultant for a construction company owned by his relatives
Nolan Ryan: Early jobs included pitcher, pitcher, and [Edited to add: Not A] Cy Young Award-winning pitcher [but still a pretty awesome pitcher anyway].

Paul Ryan: Has won 7 elections to Congress
Nolan Ryan: Threw 7 no-hitters

Paul Ryan: One of three founders of “Young Guns” program
Nolan Ryan: Threw fastest reliably recorded pitch ever, at 100.9 MPH [if we ignore Aroldis Chapman, which whatever source I looked at did. Argh.]

Paul Ryan: Makes his own bratwurst and polish sausage
Nolan Ryan: Struck out 5,714 major league baseball players

George W. Bush on Paul Ryan: “This is a strong pick.”
George W. Bush on Nolan Ryan: “Nolan Ryan is one of the greatest pitchers of all time and an excellent role model in sports. He’s living proof that dreams do come true- for anyone with the courage and dedication to work hard to achieve their dream.”


Two GIFs: Celebrating the 1984 Padres-Braves Brawl

Over at the Home for All Baseball Fans, I briefly celebrated the 28th anniversary of the greatest donnybrook of them all — one in which crimson masks surely abounded. The fact is that sometimes gentlemen must settle disputes over the phrasing of certain contractual elements with their fists and chunky cocks. The resulting bruises are as black as Bibles, but, lo, those bruises clarify.

How do you know a given fracas is right-wise? First, civilians are conscripted …

Second, Ed Whitson is bestripped of tunic and as affronted as a hornet who is not only wet but also cuckolded and accused of a crime he did not commit and overcharged for a lousy seafood dinner …

Twenty-eight years ago, some men saw to some business.


Five Best Metro Areas for the Prospect Nerd

A little over a week ago, talking with a friend who now lives in Washington, DC, that same friend dedicated no small portion of our conversation to celebrating his proximity (by virtue of living in the aforementioned American city) to minor-league baseball — in this case, to the Bowie Baysox of the Double-A Eastern League, the Frederick Keys and Potomac Nationals of the High-A Carolina League, the Hagerstown Suns of the Low-A Sally League, and even the Aberdeen IronBirds of the short-season New York-Penn League.

Mentioning that same conversation to FanGraphs managing editor Dave Cameron a couple days afterward, he (i.e. Cameron) replied by suggesting that his present hometown of Winston-Salem — which features no fewer than eight minor-league teams within a 90-minute drive (depending on traffic, of course) — is perhaps the best place to live in the country were one’s sole ambition in life to attend minor-league baseball games.

Because it’s among my ambitions in life to fact check Cameron’s most dubious-sounding claims — and also because I was curious — I spent too much of the weekend attempting to assess which towns and cities offered access to the greatest number of minor leagues.

As a sort of informal way of measuring this, I assigned to those same towns and cities three points for every ballpark within a 30-minute drive (according to Google Maps), two points for every ballpark within 60 minutes, and a single point for a ballpark within 90 minutes — while awarding points for only one team (the closest) per minor league.*

*Note: the scores aren’t recorded here, but the reader can reproduce them easily enough using MiLB.com and Google Maps.

So, for example, to Winston-Salem I assigned three points for the Winston-Salem Dash of the High-A Carolina League, two points for the Greensboro Grasshoppers of the Low-A Sally League (37 minutes away), one point for the Burlington Royals of the rookie-level Appalachian League (64 minutes), and another point for the Triple-A Durham Bulls (89 minutes!) — but not points for the Kannapolis Intimidators, for example, as, like Greensboro, they belong to the Sally League. Is it possible that the presence of an extra Sally League team in the general vicinity improves the experience of a baseball nerd living in Winston-Salem? Perhaps. But the marginal gains are small, I’d submit — and, more to the point, the prospect of measuring such a thing tested the will of the author.

In terms of criteria that were not considered in the creation of this list, “basically everything else” is the answer to that. So, for example, real estate prices: that’s not a criterion. Or unemployment rate: that’s not a criterion. Or weather. Or restaurants. Or schools.

With that said, here are the top-five metro areas for prospect nerds, as best I can tell. Note that all maps (which one can click for the purposes of embiggening) are from MiLB.com and presented on same scale, to avoid confusion. Drive times are courtesy Google Maps.

5. Southeast Suburbs, Cleveland

What an exercise like this one reveals is both that (a) it’s uncommon to find teams from two different minor leagues within an hour of each other and also that (b) it’s decidedly rare to find clubs from three different minor leagues all within the same general metro area. That’s why, even with just three teams, residents of the southeast Cleveland suburbs have considerably above-average access to minor-league baseball, with the Lake County Captains of the Class A Midwest League and Akron Aeros of the Double-A Eastern League both about a half hour’s away and the Mahoning Valley Scrappers of the short-season New York-Penn League about an hour’s drive.

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VOTE: Players Deserving Movies, Round 2


Current Leader: Ro! Ber! To! Ro! Ber! To!
image credz

Our quest to find a movie-worthy story continues today as we vote on the second round of contestants.

Here’s the top five from Round 1:

1. Roberto Clemente 14.5% (77 votes)

2. Satchel Paige 13.94% (74 votes)

3. Moe Berg 11.11% (59 votes)

4. Branch Rickey 9.79% (52 votes)

5. Bill Veeck 8.47% (45 votes)

Here are the Round 2 contestants, our final grouping:
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Chris Sale’s vs. Alexei Ramirez’s BMI

Alexei Ramirez and Chris Sale are (a) teammates on the Chicago White Sox and (b) almost impossibly slight. Here are their respective Body Mass Indices, according to the Mayo Clinic’s BMI Calculator.

Alexei Ramirez

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Totally Unaltered Tweet: Brent Lillibridge’s RBM

The following tweet is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):


A DeLorean Hovercraft, AT&T Park, and Mediocrity

So, that happened Friday night, in beautiful San Francisco. AT&T Park, man. One of the best.

I’ve always assumed that it would be easier to support a mediocre baseball team if the stadium in which it played wasn’t a soulless slab of mostly concrete. Not that the Giants are mediocre — not at all. But I imagine 2005 through 2008 were more bearable for Giants fans because of AT&T Park.

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An Erotic Photograph of the Author’s Dinner Tonight

The following image is not erotic in the sense that it depicts human people performing what is known in certain French nightclubs as the Beast with However Many Backs You Can Manage — or even a blonde and large-bosomed woman with eyes that say “Come hither” and also “Come hitherer.”

Rather, this photo — of a Scotch ale and smoked brisket sandwich purchased by the author at Madison’s Warner Park on Friday night — is erotic in the sense that Scotch ales and brisket sandwiches make life a thing worth living. These are things we want to share with others — others like the children we sire after a night of consuming Scotch ales and brisket sandwiches.