Dayn Perry, our intrepid NotGraphs moral center, broke a story yesterday. At CBS Sports Eye on Baseball (the home for all baseball fans), Mr. Perry pointed out that the winning Powerball numbers from the recent drawing matched with a veritable who’s-who of former Royals greats, and one of the winners is from the Kansas City area. It has yet to be seen if the winner was actually a Royals fan, but I found it to be a cool story nonetheless.

This led me wonder; who are the best six players who have uniform numbers matching the winning Powerball digits?

Based off of FanGraphs WAR, here’s what was discovered:

5 – Joe DiMaggio (91.9)

16 – Hal Newhouser (62.9)

22 – Roger Clemens (145.5)

23 – Ryne Sandberg (62.6)

29 – John Smoltz (82.5)

6 – Stan Musial (139.4)

Total WAR for the Powerball team – 584.8

Total Powerball Jackpot – $587.5M

Totally freaky? No. Pretty freaky? Yeah.

Fireman Ed called it quits. He’s no longer… the Jets’ superfan? As much as any man in his position can ‘quit’ his unofficial role, he’s doing so, at least that’s what he’s saying. Maybe he’ll provide inspiration…

Read the rest of this entry »

According to Ed Coleman of WFAN 660, the Mets have signed third baseman David Wright to a seven-year, $122 million contract extension, the biggest in franchise history. The contract makes Wright a Met until 2020 — and quite possibly a Met for life.

Coleman broke the news just before 3 AM in New York City. Here’s a picture from the scene:

Stay tuned for more hot tips.

Currently, Matthew Williams is a right-hander for Sydney of the Australian Baseball League. Before that, he was a pitching prospect in the Twins organization for six years. Before that, he lived his entire childhood naked and alone in the woods before emerging — with the same crudely designed spectacles as shown here — from the forests of his own accord.

Today, November 29, I hereby declare to be Other Pedro Martinez Day. As you surely know, Other Pedro Martinez, also known as Pedro A. Martinez and Pedro Martinez Aquino, born on this date in 1968, was a perfectly respectable left-handed reliever for the Padres in the early 1990s. Then he got dealt to the Astros in the notorious Ken Caminiti – Steve Finley – Derek Bell megaswap, and basically dropped off the face of the earth, while his homonymous compatriot became one of the most dominating baseball players of all time. I have no idea where Other Pedro Martinez is now, or what sorts of awkwardness his name has incurred (actually, I can come up with some ideas on the latter). But I feel it is important to honor his sacrifice, as well as those of the following gentlemen. Perhaps you will help me think of others?

Read the rest of this entry »

Whilst browsing Twitter last week, I came upon a post from a Mariners fan known as @ichimeterlady. In said post, she included a note written by former Mariners player, Ichiro Suzuki. It can be seen below (click to blow that shizz up, yo.)

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re not like my mother, you still have holiday shopping to do.

For the Wade Boggs fan in your life, look no further:

Yes, that is Wade Boggs throwing a knuckleball for the Yankees.

Wade Boggs is sort of the Bill Murray of Major League Baseball: both are cloaked in urban legend, always cool (in the sense of being unflappable and being hip), funny, and unpredictable; both had sorta underrated careers but have devoted followings.

That said, you can imagine all sorts of things that might happen should you give the gift of meeting, greeting, and candidly speaking with Mr. Wade Boggs to the Wade Boggs fan in your life…

Let’s say the Wade Boggs fan in your life meets, greets, and then speaks candidly with Wade Boggs on the topic of ocean fishing and how the Wade Boggs fan in your life just can’t stop wearing crappy Hawaiian shirts — the Wade Boggs fan in your life even wears them as undershirts, just like Wade Boggs does! The Wade Boggs fan in your life is very likely to hit it off with the Chicken Man, Wade Boggs.

Read the rest of this entry »

1. Dating Justin Verlander

2. Just signed with the Braves

3. Was a young equestrian

4. Named Rookie of the Year*

5. Won a silver medal in Cuba for the Team USA Junior Nationals

6. Made acting debut in the film Tower Heist, as Mr. Hightower’s Mistress

7. Has been benched for lack of hustle

8. Played in the 2011 Taco Bell All-Star Legends & Celebrity Softball Game

9. Is 5-foot-10

10. Weighs 185 pounds

*In the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

[Kate: 1,3,4,6,8,9]
[BJ: 2,5,7,10]

Here’s a cake! A Detroit Tigers cake!

Looks delish, does it not? The Sommelier of Whimsy shall pair it with a delightful-as-a-daisy Sartre quotation from The Age of Reason, that devil-may-care romp through the sun-dappled meadows of caprice …

He yawned. He had finished the day and he had also finished with his youth. Various well-bred moralities had already discreetly offered him their services: disillusioned epicureanism, smiling tolerance, resignation, common sense stoicism – all the aids whereby a man may savour, minute by minute, like a connoisseur, the failure of a life.

This has been your Morning Cake and Quote.

Jason Motte is many things. He is a man, beard owner, baseball player, and, according to this tweet, semi-professional etymologist.

Lack of punctuation aside, Mr. Motte brings up an interesting point. WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS?  What makes a milkshake a chocolate milkshake? Mr. Motte feels that the simple addition of chocolate syrup does not fill the requirements. He suggests also using chocolate ice cream, a choice that may contribute to a BMI in the “overweight” range. Nevertheless, he has drawn a line in the sand. That line is tangential to chocolate (and now also sandy) ice cream.

If I may offer a counterargument to Mr. Motte:

All milkshakes are made with vanilla ice cream you fucking dummy. You add chocolate syrup to make it a chocolate milkshake. You add caramel syrup to make it a caramel milkshake. That’s just the way it is. Do you make a butterscotch milkshake with butterscotch ice cream? Do you make a strawberry milkshake with strawberry ice cream? No. You do neither of those. What you are suggesting is not a milkshake. You are suggesting a disgusting cup filled with pulverized ice cream and corresponding flavor syrup. It’s gross, it’s far too sweet, and it’s an assault on America. If you want to drink your diabetes smoothie, go right ahead you dullard. But leave the word milkshake off of it. WHY CALL IT APPLE PIE IF THE WHOLE THING ISN’T MADE OF APPLES? WHY CALL IT CHICKEN SOUP IF THE BOWL ISN’T MADE OF CHICKEN!? Your logic has holes, profligate.

Tune in next week when I take down Cody Ross regarding his lax definition of what constitutes a “burrito.”