With the reconstituted Melkman dominating 2012’s first half, winning All-Star Game MVP honors, and driving shrapnel further into the bowels of Yankees, Braves, and Royals fans everywhere, I thought this might be an opportune time to revisit Mr. Cabrera’s eventful biography. Fortunately, ace reporter and adult performer Mary Carey has asked the hard questions already.
Patience. The subtle sense is higher than desire and will.
— Travis Snider (@Lunchboxhero45) July 5, 2012
He’s batting .316/.396/.557 in AAA. What more do the Blue Jays want?
(I have a soft spot for Travis Snider, since he was on my Scoresheet team for the past few seasons– threw him back before the draft this year with much regret… although part of that regret was having turned down a Snider-for-Nelson Cruz one-for-one offer a couple of years ago….)
Of all the annoying things about public transit listening to girls talk about their problems has to take the cake
— Max Scherzer (@Max_Scherzer) May 25, 2012
Alternatively:
Of all the annoying things about public transit, seeing Max Scherzer eavesdropping on our conversation and tweeting about it has to take the cake
— Girls (@Girls)
Dustin Pedroia, with the quote of the week:
“I’m a lizard. I heal while I play. I’m a freak healer. I heal great.”
Two ways for this post to proceed. My first inclination: he’s a freak healer? What kinds of freaks can he heal? But that feels like slightly less fun than finding Google Images of lizards that look like Dustin Pedroia. So… presenting the Dustin Pedroia “I’m a lizard” collection:
(h/t: Baseball Think Factory)
Despite being the sixth most valuable position player in the National League (per WAR) this year, the third most outfielder, and, easily, the most valuable left-fielder, Ryan Braun is only starting the All-Star game tomorrow night because of Matt Kemp’s injury.
Also, even with Mr. Kemp being injured, Ryan Braun was not invited to participate in the Spanks & Taters Contest tonight, despite being the NL leader in Spanks/Taters with 24 (Carlos Beltran is second with 20).
Brauny was not included in any All-Star Game promo or other official MLB promo this year, and I guess it’s pretty obvious why. But the fact of the matter is, whatever “happened” in 2011 and before, Braun is almost certainly not using PEDs now (he’d have to be an idiot to do so), and even in the face of incessant taunting of opposing fans and a cold shoulder from MLB, Braun is putting up another MVP-caliber season.
Despite all this, Ryan Braun is still a star. In Milwaukee, amidst a disappointing season that will probably not see a 2011 division title defended, Braun is much more than a star — he’s a constellation.
Thus I present, Orion Braun:
“And his bright junk shall guide us…”-Homer
Given his well-known fondness for exotic pets, it came as no surprise to Tim Hudson’s teammates to find him possessing a fighting spirit on Friday. Reactions, as usual, were mixed in the Atlanta clubhouse. “That thing is freaky, man,” said Martin Prado, adding that he didn’t know where Hudson would have procured such a creature — “and I don’t want to know.” Hudson’s batterymate Brian McCann joked that “it’s better than the spirit possessing Huddy, I guess.” Meanwhile, skipper Fredi Gonzalez was heard referring to the beast as “the Rally Demon.”
Courtesy of reader Al, it’s Cleveland’s Hipster Ketchup high-fiving a fan:
Yes, I will post your mascot photos if you send them.
The glasses are pretty cool there. By next week he’ll have mustard sideburns and a relish goatee.
America loves baseball. America loves its troops. It’s common to see these two loves integrated, especially around the 4th of July.
The four-game series between the Marlins and Brewers at Miller park this past week (of which I attended two games) was military heavy: service men and women threw out the first pitches at all the games, sung the national anthem and “God Bless America” at all of the contests, and were in attendance in higher-than-usual numbers. On both occasions that I was present, a serviceman won the “Fan of the Game” prize — which is awarded based on cheers from the crowd — and it wasn’t even close. (Normally, the prize is won by whoever looks most like Santa Claus.)
In general, I think this is a nice thing to do: the troops don’t get to come out to the ballpark whenever they want, so it’s cool to recognize them when they do. And while I’m sure that many of them appreciate it, sometimes I wonder if they wouldn’t rather just enjoy the game and its various delights like a normal citizen instead of being cheered whenever they order a bag of peanuts. And sometimes I can’t help but wonder how much our honoring them is about feeling good about ourselves.
Case in point, this image, which is actually from the Ballpark in Arlington on June 28:
“Nobody’s looking, right?”
We’re already attending a baseball game, imbibing, stuffing our faces with dollar hotdogs, tailgating, celebrating our collective freedom and the opportunities it (supposedly) affords us, etc. Do we really need to have a full-grown man, one that we pretend to respect, driving around a stadium in a miniature airplane for our amusement?
Come on, America! Come on, baseball!
A neat article on Slate (written by the very impressively-named Matthew J.X. Malady) about mascot races. Here’s my favorite from the piece:
Mayors with giant heads: The Single-A Tri-City ValleyCats’ home stadium is located near the upstate New York cities of Albany, Schenectady, and Troy. In the middle of the sixth inning, dudes in khakis and oxford shirts put on giant heads resembling each city’s mayor and race down the right-field line.
It got me thinking… pretend you own a minor league team. What would you have racing down the line?
(If you want to e-mail your own Mascot Race JPGs, I’ll do a follow up post featuring the best (or worst) of….)
1. Jurickson Profar (previously #5)
2. Wil Myers
3. Michael Phelps
4. Mexico’s Ruling Party
5. Nectarines
6. John Roberts (1-for-1 in recent decisions)
7. Higgs Boson
8. Timothy Mayopoulos
9. Katie Holmes
10. Mark Prior
Off the list:
Facebook stock
Winter
Ann Curry
Jerry Sandusky
