When the Chicago Cubs hired Theo Epstein, they unleashed a trade full of others.
“The Other Chris Carpenter” went to Boston and in return, the Cubs got “The Other Bogaerts” — marginal-at-best prospect Jair Bogaerts, the twin brother of the Red Sox top prospect, Xander Bogaerts.
Most likely, this is a first. But in another universe, there were other transactions involving the others:
OK, NotMinds, time to start putting all that jealously guarded knowledge to use! Time to start giving back to the community! I’ve ventured into the intellectual hothouse that is Yahoo! Answers, and picked out a modest bouquet of the most urgent, penetrating, or just plain tough baseball-related questions. I’ll trust you all to sort through these and pitch in where you’re most needed.
Dice K is the greatest pitcher to have ever played any sports, and Gagne is the Pippen of Pitching. Agree?
How do you make a Jackie Robinson sculpture?
Will the records of Babe Ruth survive if another cataclysmic event happens like the extinction of the dinosaur?
This year-old but new-to-me promo for the Japanese professional baseball team the SoftBank Hawks is easily the best baseball related commercial I’ve ever seen (even including that Ken Griffey Jr. Nike ad that made me cry when he retired).
The Hawks website is full of delightful tips on how to enjoy baseball, such as this perfectly joyful sentence: “after the top of the 7th inning, it’s time to sing the team song and release thousands of yellow balloons together with other fans.” We should all be so lucky. Additionally, their stadium is home to a Sadaharu Oh museum, and their team currently features Brad Penny.
I’m sold! Given that the Astros have seemingly given up on even trying to promote themselves at all, I may or may not be considering myself primarily a SoftBank Hawks fan after I watch this video a few more times. My favorite part is the [SPOILER ALERT] hat-wearing dog at the end.
H/T to Buzzfeed.
Courtesy of Baseball Think Factory, it seems that film score composer John Williams (Star Wars, E.T., Schindler’s List, Home Alone) has composed a theme song for the Red Sox, called “Fanfare for Fenway.”
Contrast with the Mets’ new theme song. (Link not safe for, uh, anybody who has eaten recently. Sorry.)
2012 Outlook: 20 (31st)
With holdovers from last year like Brian Roberts, Chase Utley, Magglio Ordonez, Michael Wuertz, Rickey Henderson, and Gaylord Perry, it’s bound to be a long season. Rookies like Melvin Mora’s quintuplets aren’t close to contributing. Besides, spotty recent Internet service means lineup changes may not happen regularly, and a commitment to focusing on things other than fantasy baseball means that significant trade activity is unlikely. For this season, there are very few teams with less hope.
2013+ Outlook: 20 (31st)
Next year, it’s not looking any better. Although the 34-year Gaylord Perry contract will finally (!) be off the books, the decision to extend Chipper Jones this spring means that even before the draft, the team will already be at a disadvantage. The minor league system is completely barren, mostly due to the lack of a minor league system in the league’s settings, but, still, the rules can’t take all of the blame. And for 2014 and beyond, there’s literally nobody on this team.
Financial Resources: 20 (31st)
My check bounced. It’s tough to admit it, but I wasn’t keeping good checkbook records, and I thought I had enough in my account to cover the yearly fee… but I didn’t. Which, combined with new austerity measures, limited budget for website subscriptions and pre-season annuals, and lack of ink in the toner cartridge, puts me at the bottom of the rankings in this category as well.
Baseball Operations: 20 (31st)
It’s a distracted front office, with many non-baseball demands, including the dishes in the sink and the laundry in the hamper, and, no, I don’t know why there’s that much dust under the bed. No recent investments in new technology, and the mass resignation of the fleet of unpaid interns who had expected more hands-on work have made the team office a shell of what it could be. It’s hard to imagine worse than setting lineups on a first-generation BlackBerry and using a generic spreadsheet program to prepare for the auction because we couldn’t spring for Excel.
Overall: 20 (31st)
For every positive about this team– and there are none– there are an undefined number of negatives. The current team has something like ten outfielders but no active pitchers. There’s a pile of old Baseball Prospectus annuals, but are any of them from the past six seasons? There’s plenty of charge in the BlackBerry, but there are no baseball-related applications on it. There might be light at the end of the tunnel, if I win the battle for a new stadium, er, home office, but that doesn’t seem likely. There’s really nowhere to go but up, but there’s no reason to think there will be any movement in that direction anytime soon. Another decade of last place finishes seems inevitable.
I want to emphasize that this idea was very, very funny in my head.
I liked Matt’s rebus post last week. I decided to make my own.
Hint #1: Famous line from a movie
Hint #2: My rebus will not win points for precision
If anyone can guess this, either you are amazing, or I am bad at determining how impossible this will be.
Shortstop Brad Woods, future Hall of Famer.
Vitals
Game: MLB 2K12
Platform: Playstation 3, XBOX 360, Wii, PC, etc.
Developer: 2K Sports
Modes: Franchise, Superstar, Online, and MLB Today
Cool Features: Unique pitching system, MLB Today game mode, and highly customizable players in Superstar mode.
Here’s a video of some gameplay — not mine own, do note, so I cannot say with certainty what platform this is from.
Read the rest of this entry »
Like most of you, I strongly believe that nicknames can never be too many nor too frivolous. Also, like you, I believe that many if not most of the kabbalistic secrets of creation were uncovered by Steve Jobs and are continually and carefully dispensed from Cupertino for the good of all humanity. Therefore, I’ve just spent longer than I care to admit thumbing the name of every qualifying ballplayer into an iPod Touch, and being gently yet firmly enlightened about what each man’s parents or forebears really meant for him to be called.
There has been a first cut. Some names were simply too searingly revelatory; I chose to shield your eyes. Now, I need your help in paring this down to a manageable roster. Which of these will stick? How much truth can we handle?
Courtesy of Carson, this Tweet:
Jason Giambi shares his wisdom with some of the younger #Rockies players: atmlb.com/yx5RV3 #RoxCommercials #StarWars
— Colorado Rockies (@Rockies) March 18, 2012
If you watch the linked commercial– and you should!– you will hear advertising creatives crying Giambi offering Yoda-like advice to Rockies players I’m not sure I can correctly name. Advice like, “Powerful Become You Are” to some guy in the weight room. (The commercial cuts out just before Giambi injects him with Pine Tar.) Enjoy.
