On Sunday, the Mariners pulled the trigger on a deal which sent Brendan Ryan to the great Northwest from the St. Louis Cardinals. Surely, the homepage will have some sort of “analysis” of the baseball implications therein at some point today. More importantly, the Mariners have acquired perhaps the greatest mustache-wielder in the league.

The picture above comes from one of the Cardinals promotional spots from the 2010 season. Not only does Ryan expertly wear his mustache (he does real ‘staches too), he grows his lip jacket with remarkable rapidity, and even manages to do so “while spinning!”

In fact, I’m pretty sure we may have discovered Brendan Ryan’s alternate identity.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.

Whenever rumors abound of legendary 16 year veteran Gregg Zaun, I find it is my civic duty to remind every baseball fan of the single most important web site in existence. No, it isn’t NotGraphs. Instead, it’s Zaun’s personal website, www.greggzaun.com.

Everything about this website is awesome. From the Mask of Zorro animation to the sweet special effects to the Rush backing track to the fantastic header to the invitation to join the “Zaunbie Nation Fan Club,” Zaun’s site brings the pain from a variety of angles. I have yet to meet a single person who has not enjoyed this website, and if you do, you should stone them at once, for they are not human.

Perhaps the most shocking piece of information contained on this website is the fact that Zaun was born in Glendale, California, and not Saskatchewan, Canada. Between the hairstyle, Blue Jays gear, and premium Canadian rock in the background (also his batting walk-up music), everything about Zaun and this website just screams Canada.

This is easily the most important piece of information you will come across the entire offseason. Disseminate wherever and whenever you can. And above all else, remember to Bring Your Z-Game.

I suppose this isn’t surprising, as everything these days has to have a logo.

However, I’m pretty surprised at how elaborate this logo is. For as much craziness as the Winter Meetings can create on the internet and, particularly, on the twitters, the stuff that actually happens this week in Orlando is about as boring as any event in sports. When it comes down to it, the Winter Meetings are just a bunch of dudes in suits on their blackberries for a week.

Naturally, then, the logo for the event is an alligator with a baseball bat in its mouth, with some flamingos down by the numbering for this year. Perhaps it’s supposed to be symbolic. Now’s the time for baseball’s GM’s to snap up a good deal, like an alligator! Or maybe it means that the Seattle Mariners should be looking to sign an alligator with a bat in its mouth, because they really need a designated hitter. Or maybe…

Regardless, the start of the Winter Meetings today marks one of the most exciting points of the MLB’s offseason. After seeing this logo, though, you don’t need me to tell you that.

ESPN college basketball blogger Eamonn Brennan described this shirt last season:

Speaking of Northwestern fans, this year’s Northwestern fan and team slogan is incredibly funny. It is, simply, “Make Shots.” Usually team t-shirt slogans are something inspirational or ostensibly full of deep basketball insight. Not this. “Make Shots” might be the least inspirational, and therefore the most honest, team slogan of all-time. I love it.

Uninspirational? Honest? I can totally do that. At least that first thing. Here’s how I adapted this shirt idea to baseball. First, this generic one can work for every team.

That’s not terribly creative, though. It’s much more fun to try to adapt these to individual teams, maybe like this.

(More after the jump)

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For most, championship runs are seen as time to celebrate the accomplishments of team and individual and to revel in the rarity of being the best on the world. For others – for the greediest among us – it is seen merely as a merchandising opportunity. As teams win their divisions and advance through the various rounds of the playoffs, apparel companies churn out more and more shirts and caps and other miscellaneous items. Not only does this new merchandise tend to cost loads of money, but it also make the items released prior obsolete.

The item pictured above (also available for the Rangers) is the authentic, on-field Giants cap with the World Series patch on the side. This piece of playoff memorabilia doesn’t suffer those typical symptoms. It isn’t garish, but it commemorates the event of the 2010 World Series effectively. Particularly as someone who enjoys the Authentic Collection, this hat would fit right in to my collection.

Most importantly, though, to answer the title question, the patch doesn’t significantly add to the cost of the hat. The standard Authentic Collection hat costs $33.99 against the $35.99 for the World Series version.

Playoff merchandise is probably my favorite subset of sports apparel, as it allows me to both support my team and gloat at the same time. As such, I really appreciate an appealing piece of playoff apparel, and the World Series patch hats certainly fit the bill for me.

I don’t really think words are needed to describe why I find this item from MLB.com’s holiday store so hilarious, but here are some anyway.

Philadelphia has a certain reputation as a sports town that some would lightly describe as “salty,” or perhaps “abrasive.” To put it lightly, Philly’s fans can be mean. Even the grinchiest of grinches wouldn’t throw snowballs at Santa Claus. But Philly fans did, as verified by the ever-vigilant Snopes.com:

When (Frank) Olivo (the 20-year-old handpicked to portray Santa Claus) finished his run down Santa Claus Lane, he got into range. A fan in the upper deck threw the first snowball. As Santa hit the south end zone, one turned into ten, then into 100.

“When I hit the end zone, and the snowballs started, I was waving my finger at the crowd, saying ‘You’re not getting anything for Christmas,'” Olivo recalled.

“Oh, I got pelted,” Olivo says. He remembers being hit by several dozen snowballs, which suggests that many of the upper-deck denizens were more accurate passers than [the Eagles’ quarterback]. “I didn’t mind,” he says. “I started kibitzing with some of the people throwing the snowballs.”

Still, he had his limits. “When I finished, Mr. Mullen asked if I wanted to do it again the next year,” Olivo says. “I told him, ‘No way. If it doesn’t snow, they’ll probably throw beer bottles.”

This story is really lighter than most people than most people consider it, I think. At the same time, though, it’s friggin’ Santa Claus. He’s jolly and he gives people free stuff. If you can’t appreciate that, who can you appreciate?

On another note, if the Philly Phanatic really were Santa Claus, somehow I think David Wright would get a lump of coal in his stocking.

People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.

-Rogers Hornsby

Now you can look out that window in style in the winter months, thanks to this new line of holiday hats from ’47 Brand. The hats feature team logos in Christmas colors (red and green) with a baseball-bat wielding Santa (reminds me of this guy). Some even don the team logo with a Santa-style stocking hat, sure to keep the ears or tops of letters warm.

These hats sell for 18.99, or roughly half of what an Authentic Collection hat sells for. I suppose that makes sense – at least here in Wisconsin, you can count on half of the year bringing wintry weather. That said, this doesn’t seem like anything a serious fan would want to wear, and the main targets for this would probably be unsuspecting gift buyers like Secret Santas. (Note to any Secret Santa of mine: don’t buy me one of these hats.)

What this really suggests to me is that these hats must be incredibly cheap to make, as ’47 Brand can apparently afford to produce this highly specific line of hats which doesn’t have much appeal to any hardcore type of fan – the type of fan that would spend money on hats. Perhaps I’m merely a Grinch, though, and am merely looking at the world with nary a hint of holiday spirit.

Thanks to commenter Bryz, who posted a link to these jerseys in the comments section of a previous post.

This is one of three player jerseys under the “Men’s Fashion Jerseys” section of the Twins store on MLB.com’s shop. There’s a jersey for Nick Punto (above), Kevin Slowey, and Justin Morneau, and each incorporates parts of the player’s personality in making the jersey. For example, the Justin Morneau jersey includes references to his home country of Canada as well as his (super predictable) favorite sport of hockey. Punto’s jersey is red, white, and green to accentuate his Italian heritage and shows his grit in picture form. Kevin Slowey’s is black and yellow in the spirit of his hometown of Pittsburgh.

It’s an interesting concept, but I just can’t imagine anybody (who isn’t a family member) blowing the $95 that it costs to own one of these. The concept of these as “fashion” is interesting to me as well, as I can’t see anybody coming down a runway wearing one of these nor being taken too seriously in any public setting. Some of the designs – particularly on the patches, as well as the number design on Morneau’s jersey – are pretty cool, but for that kind of cash, I’ll stick with the real team colors.

In the immortal words of Danny Trejo in Anchorman, “Ladies can do stuff now, and you’re going to learn to deal with it.”

Included in the stuff that the ladies can do is become fans of baseball. In fact, various sources estimate that the percentage of sports fans of the female persuasion is around 45%, a very significant portion of the baseball consuming public, and therefore, the baseball apparel consuming public.

You don’t often see women shopping in the Men’s department of a department store. One would think, then, that there would be a substantial potential market in making women’s apparel. However, much of the apparel available to women is similar to that of the lady in the above picture: pink. Other than that, women are either forced to buy the super-expensive Alyssa Milano-brand items or wear the same shirts and jerseys as the men.

Who cares about what I have to say about this? I barely even know what a hem is. Instead, we’ll venture somewhere FanGraphs has never gone before: into the brain of a real, live woman. I asked Royals fan and blogger Minda Haas of the aptly named www.mindahaas.net about her feelings on the state of MLB apparel for women and pink apparel in particular. Follow the jump to see what she has to say.

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The two jerseys on the outside should look familiar, but the two on the inside are brand-spanking-new and will see their on-field debuts in the 2011 season.

Second from the left is the new alternate home for the Indians. It comes in an odd creme color with a sans-serif font. To me, it looks like an older style uniform, although it doesn’t appear to be a throwback to any older Indians uniforms. The closest Indians uniform to the new one is this, from 1972, and the only thing similar there is the lettering. The new design also features a new hat, with a navy block “C” on a red background.

Next to that will be the new road grays. This is a pretty classic look, very similar to what the 1954 Indians wore away from home. Perhaps coincidentally and perhaps not, that 1954 team reached the World Series. This design uses this hat, the original version of the color swap used on the home alternates.

Personally, I think the creme alternate immediately becomes one of the worst uniforms in baseball today. The letters are too big, the creme color is awful, and the blue-on-red hat design doesn’t work at all. The away uniforms, though, are nearly perfect. If I had my druthers, the Chief Wahoo logo would just go away, but alas, it does appear on the arm patch of this jersey (as well as the other three). Other than that, though, it’s a great and classic look that hearkens back to a great era for the Cleveland franchise.