The Most Ironic Piece of Holiday Merchandise

I don’t really think words are needed to describe why I find this item from MLB.com’s holiday store so hilarious, but here are some anyway.

Philadelphia has a certain reputation as a sports town that some would lightly describe as “salty,” or perhaps “abrasive.” To put it lightly, Philly’s fans can be mean. Even the grinchiest of grinches wouldn’t throw snowballs at Santa Claus. But Philly fans did, as verified by the ever-vigilant Snopes.com:

When (Frank) Olivo (the 20-year-old handpicked to portray Santa Claus) finished his run down Santa Claus Lane, he got into range. A fan in the upper deck threw the first snowball. As Santa hit the south end zone, one turned into ten, then into 100.

“When I hit the end zone, and the snowballs started, I was waving my finger at the crowd, saying ‘You’re not getting anything for Christmas,'” Olivo recalled.

“Oh, I got pelted,” Olivo says. He remembers being hit by several dozen snowballs, which suggests that many of the upper-deck denizens were more accurate passers than [the Eagles’ quarterback]. “I didn’t mind,” he says. “I started kibitzing with some of the people throwing the snowballs.”

Still, he had his limits. “When I finished, Mr. Mullen asked if I wanted to do it again the next year,” Olivo says. “I told him, ‘No way. If it doesn’t snow, they’ll probably throw beer bottles.”

This story is really lighter than most people than most people consider it, I think. At the same time, though, it’s friggin’ Santa Claus. He’s jolly and he gives people free stuff. If you can’t appreciate that, who can you appreciate?

On another note, if the Philly Phanatic really were Santa Claus, somehow I think David Wright would get a lump of coal in his stocking.