Miami OF/1B Logan Morrison hasn’t played a game since July 28; on September 5, LoMo had successful surgery on his knee. (Link does not indicate which knee it was, in case you were going to click to find out. I would have just told you; I’m not like that.)
However, since September 10, LoMo, the self-proclaimed “twittaholic,” has not tweeted. Here is a totally unaltered screenshot that I took of his Twitter page yesterday evening (click to make very big):
Last night, I went to sample the new small plate fare at VonTrier, a favorite brew pub of mine in Milwaukee. The menu included a charcuterie board; featured with that board was an item called “Underground Meats Lomo.”
That, of course, explained everything: an underground cell of cannibal chefs kidnapped a gimpy Morrison, butchered him, and seasoned his flesh for the palate-pleasures of foppish Milwaukeeans such as yours truly.
As far as I am concerned, he has now earned the $2 salary that I paid him this season in my dynasty league. He was delicious.
Hire Robert J. Baumann to live-blog your next birthday party, family reunion, or corporate event. You will not want to forget it soon.