Ryan Raburn Recites The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock (Abridged)


In the eighth inning of Thursday night’s contest between the Clevelands and the Kansas Citys, left fielder and modernist antihero Ryan Raburn did something extraordinary. Though it was difficult for the author to get an accurate count due to the storm of emotion clouding his sight, it might be suggested that Raburn accomplished at least four things.

1) In the immediate frame of reference, Raburn lowered the probability of his team winning the contest by something like thirty percent.

2) In the somewhat less immediate frame of reference, Raburn gifted the Royals what proved to be the game-deciding run, also allowing them to overtake the Indians for second place in the division.

3) In a considerably larger frame of reference, Raburn entered himself into the conversation regarding the worst defensive baseball play of all time.

4) In arguably the largest possible frame of reference, Raburn embodied with devastating poignancy the isolation and futility of all modern endeavor.

Though we can’t be certain what Raburn was thinking during this particular endeavor, nor what any of our fellow humans are ever thinking, the following excerpts from T.S. Eliot may in some way soothe our debilitating anxiety.


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THIS is why we are all so agitated about the death sentence given to NotGraphs