Introducing Handsome-Independent Pitching

Barry Zito underperforms his handsome.

Highly Important Note: This post was composed prior to the author’s reading of Mr. Baumann’s quite similarly motivated post of earlier today We coordinated this completely on purpose.

Those of you who, for whatever reason — novelty, I suppose — read our “stepchild” site Fangraphs, in addition to Notgraphs proper, will have noted the dramatic rollout this week of the new metric “Fielding Dependent Pitching.” I applaud the Fangraphs team for their effort and encourage them to keep at it, but here at Notgraphs we remain, to put it politely, a step ahead. Here I would like to announce our newest product, an advanced metric that brings us a massive step closer to the holy grail of fully understanding and predicting pitcher performance.

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Phillies Press Release Calls to Mind Imaginary 1970s Buddy-Cop TV Pilot

Something rolled, not unlike waves of grain, into my inbox:

First of all, congratulations to Messrs. Cloyd and Ruf for what’s a genuine honor. Second of all, thank you to Messrs. Cloyd and Ruf for giving one the occasion to imagine new dimensions of the hard-nosed procedural …


New NotGraphs Stats, Investigative Teams

In a series of posts yesterday, some longer than others, Davids Appleman and Cameron introduced new stats, exclusive to FanGraphs, that help us to evaluate pitcher success. The discerning baseball fan will find these indispensable going forward — or at least they will find them to be an excuse to sit at a computer, staring at custom leaderboards for dozens of additional hours while their social lives and muscles atrophy.

Indeed, FanGraphs has become known for its insightful analysis and groundbreaking statistical endeavors. NotGraphs, on the other hand, if it has become known, has become known for…not those things.


Keeping up with the Davids.

But that is not to say that we NotGraphers are oblivious to the standards of excellence established by our parent site. That is why, in hasty, scrambling reaction to these exciting developments at FanGraphs, we at NotGraphs are announcing several new “stats” of our own, and even several new Investigative Reporting Investigation Teams. What follows are names and brief descriptions of said, on which we have no intention of following up.

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Texts From My Cousin

* Oakland scoreboard gives the strangest info. Currently showing: Seth smith July (career totals) 6hr/26rbi. that’s it.

* Derek Norris is batting .364 in the 7th inning in 2012. more highly predictive info from the oak scoreboard.

* Remember how 1Bs used to be plated on first when receiving a throw? Now it almost seems theyre stepping towards the throw.

* Looks like 1bs are gettin away with pulling their plant foot off the bag before the catch is made.

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Readers With Blogs (#3)

Here’s the latest in a series that takes a look at some NotGraphs reader blogs and points you toward some interesting things I find. Read about how this series started in this post.

1. Clean and simple, and a very nice scroll-through, Dante Bichette’s Inferno features pictures of baseball cards and quick factoids. As the Red Sox trade their entire team away… a reminder that hitting coach Dave Magadan’s lifetime .390 OBP ranks #100 all-time.

2. A celebration of the long-term relationship between the Braves and Peter Moylan. Can you name the seven relievers since 2006 who have made more appearances with one team than Moylan? Two are named in the post.

3. An interesting comparison of player height at different positions. Did you know that right fielders are the tallest outfielders?

4. Great headline: Red Sox Decide To Quit Playing Baseball, Might Open a “Laundromat or Something” Say Team Owners. And the post ain’t bad either. “If anyone turns on NESN in the next few days after having avoided the Internet, it will be like watching Scrubs after the show went to ABC, with Turk and JD nowhere to be found.”

5. Also from the blog listed at #4, a link to this interesting Paris Review piece about Rays AAA manager Charlie Montoyo.

6. A post about baseball jargon from 1943. Seriously:

Because the Texas-Leaguer caused such exasperation for fielders, in 1943 if one occurred during a game, sports writers around the nation could describe it as a “Sheeny Mike, banjo, humpback liner, plunker, Japanese liner, drooper, looper, special, leaping Lena or a percentage hit.” Leaving aside the somewhat racist connotations of the “Japanese liner,” and the fact that I have absolutely no idea what half of these phrases mean, they are still undeniably entertaining.

7. Finally, highlights from a radio interview with Lou Gehrig.


UPDATE: L.J. Hoes To Be In New Area Code

News yesterday that Orioles prospect L.J. Hoes will be playing for the Mesa Solar Sox in the Arizona Fall League. That adds another area code to the list of area codes in which the Orioles have assigned L.J. Hoes.

Observe:

As usual, click to embiggen.


Matt Harvey Action Footage: 99 MPH Fastball

At the end of the first Back to the Future, Doc Brown returns to 1985 for the purpose of bringing Marty and Jennifer — for reasons too obvious to acknowledge — bringing them back to the year 2015. Moments later, Marty notes that there isn’t enough road in the Lyon Estates subdivision to accelerate to 88 mph (i.e. the speed at which the time-traveling DeLorean needs to reach to initiate time travel). To which comment Doc Brown replies, “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”

Doc Brown’s sentiments ring true for the present post, as well — except, instead of “roads,” what Doc Brown would say is “any actual reason” and, instead of “where we’re going,” he’d say “apropos Action Footage of young Mets right-hander Matt Harvey striking out Laynce Nix on a 99 mph fastball.”

Here’s the aforementioned fastball:

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Name That Face

Who is this baseball player?

Without using any type of fancy search method, peruse these images and type in your answer at the end, via NotGraphs Advanced Poll Technology (NGAPT™).

Many thanks to my buddy LAC3 for the idea. I didn’t do it justice.


Obviously the one on the left here.

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Regretful Purchase, Stupid Bobblehead Edition

There is a saying that a fool and his money are soon parted. Whether that’s the case or not, it is true that anyone who possesses money will eventually spend some of it in a way that does not contribute to his/her overall well-being and fulfillment as a person. There are, of course, a nearly infinite set of degrees to which this can play out. I feel as though I fall on the upper 50% of that spectrum, but I am not without my occasional lapses in judgment. Behold this stupid bobblehead I bought on eBay recently:

The absurdity of this purchase is magnified by the fact that:

1. I don’t live in Oakland, nor have I ever considered myself a fan of the Oakland Athletics.

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Apologizing to the Orioles

The Baltimore Orioles are 71-57. The Toronto Blue Jays are 57-71. I suspected this was the case after last night’s action; I felt a disturbance in the proverbial force. The Orioles have a -39 run differential, the Blue Jays -37. Life remains unfair. Baltimore starters have a 4.60 ERA. Toronto starters: 4.80. The Orioles’ bullpen has been money: a 3.03 ERA in 424.2 innings. The Blue Jays’ bullpen has been a nightmare: a 4.20 ERA, worst in the American League, in 405.1 innings. Bullpens matter. Baltimore is – somehow – 24-6 in one-run games, and 12-2 in extra innings. The Blue Jays are 9-20 in one-run games, and 6-6 in extra innings. The bottom line: the Orioles will play meaningful baseball in September, and the Blue Jays will not. Showalter Magic is real. I believe. In the AL East’s battle of the birds, the Orioles have won.

This troubles me, of course. Over the past few years, I’ve taken my fair share of shots at the Orioles. Seriously, I’ve talked a lot of shit. They were low-hanging fruit. It was so easy. Too easy. But the time for jokes has passed. And now, it’s time to look back, and reflect. Were the jokes – the #OriLOLes hashtag was a personal favorite – worth it?

I’ve thought long and hard about this. About calling Baltimore’s visits to the Rogers Centre “Guaranteed Win Night,” about the Orioles’ fiasco in South Korea, and Dan Duquette’s comments about the cut fastball. I’ve had a lot of good times at the Orioles’ expense. And, yet, here we are: the Blue Jays are now the butt of jokes; the Blue Jays are in last place.

I’m sorry, Baltimore, I apologize, but, after much introspection, yes, it was all worth it, goddamnit. Especially  the #OriLOLes hashtag. No regrets. The Orioles’ struggles made me feel alive. And fortunate. But good luck the rest of the way.

Image credit: Noisy Decent Graphics.