eBay’s Five Most Marvelous and Currently Available Ballcaps

Twice now, in these electronic pages, the author has alerted the public to ballcaps of great merit made available by means of internet auction house eBay.com. What follows represents an unimaginative sequel to those two earlier installments.

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Eck

Oakland A’s Eckersley Hat (Link)
Style: Snapback
Time Left: N/A
Cost: US $28.39 (Buy It Now)

It’s much less the actual appearance and more the idea of this particular cap that is attractive. Dennis Eckersley was, for years, an above-average starting pitcher. Upon joining Oakland in 1987, he became more or less the majors’ best reliever for nearly a decade. Now, even 15 years after having retired, Eckersley persists in sporting a coiffure typically reserved for those either en route to or on the way home from a sexy key party. Multitudes, he could be said to contain.

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Three Rivers Staff

Pittsburgh Pirates Three Rivers Staff Cap (Link)
Style: Snapback
Time Left: 4 days, 19 hours
Cost: US $5.00 (Starting Bid)

This maybe isn’t, but at least appears to be, the actual cap worn by the actual employees of a stadium that no longer exists. Accordingly, the pleasure offered by this cap: it allows one to experience the life of a working-class citizen in a late-century rust-belt city without all the attendant misery and discord and probably liver failure.

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White Sox

Rare 80s’s Chicago White Sox Hat (Link)
Style: Snapback
Time Left: 4 days, 6 hours
Cost: US $7.99 (Starting Bid)

The product notes for this particular hat suggest that it’s been worn. What they (i.e. those notes) don’t reveal: it was worn by someone drinking Tab enthusiastically.

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Padres

San Diego Padres Deadstock Cap (Link)
Style: Snapback
Time Left: N/A
Cost: US $45.99 (Buy It Now)

Reasonably fun fact: 1990 comedy film My Blue Heaven, starring Steve Martin and Rick Moranis, was filmed inside this hat.

***

Saturn

Saturn Cars Logo Hat (Link)
Style: Snapback
Time Left: 20 days, 21 hours
Cost: US $16.99 (But It Now)

The question of how to reduce violent crime in the States is a difficult one, nor is the present author the sort who’s capable of adding anything of substance to that particular conversation. Even so, one imagines that — for reasons both very clear and entirely mysterious — that requiring every male citizen to wear this Saturn cap is part of a hypothetical solution.

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Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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Pretty Tony
Guest
Pretty Tony

The Saturn cap has already been purchased so we may well be on our way to utopia!