At times and perforce, the homilist’s greatest rhetorical device is knowing when to fall silent and allow the miracles to unfurl in that silence, like an abundant dong released from its underthings. Now is such a time . . .
Mitzvah Chaps is very proud to announce that Dayn Perry — husband, father, dog owner, sports writer, practicing Catholic, non-proselytizing vegetarian, Mississippi native, Chicago resident, zealous and abiding fan of the St. Louis Cardinals, and creator of at least one ugly-ass weblog — and I have collaborated to make a chapbook of Dayn’s writings entitled Drinking with Boileryard Clarke: Dayn Perry Celebrates Himself & Baseball. Dayn made all the writings, I did the arranging of said writings into pages, then printed, collated, and assembled the pages and a cover into a chapbook.
Covers by Daniel Rolf. All other filth by Dayn Perry.
- Sixteen choice Dayn Perry pieces with accompanying images, many of them reproduced in full, modern color.
- Charming introduction by the author himself.
- Letterpressed covers designed by Daniel Rolf of Sensitive House and printed at Bay View Printing Co.
It is a peculiar object, too, perhaps, given that all of the writings contained in Drinking with Boileryard Clarke (save for the author’s introduction) have previously appeared at this very internet, and are still, to this moment, available for viewing at this internet. So why make a chapbook, then, you might ask.
Thank you for asking, Faithful NotGraphs Reader. We wanted to make this chapbook because many of Dayn’s writings at NotGraphs — indeed almost every word that Dayn Perry utters — serve to remind us that we will die and when we do, who will even care? Physical objects like books do a better job of reminding us that we will die because they can get thrown out, soiled, left behind, or placed on a shelf and forgotten. Things on the internets, those eternal forums of the forever-fucked, are always there to be retrieved. As Google has proclaimed, you cannot delete an internet.
But, if you own the chapbook version of these writings, you can destroy them with fire or shears in real time; you can burn Dayn in effigy or celebrate him using the most inappropriately appropriate means — namely your dongs or lady dongs, or both if you have them available.
You can buy Drinking with Boileryard Clarke — the chapbook based on the internet — for $11, postage paid (to the contiguous US and Canada, at least).
Hire Robert J. Baumann to live-blog your next birthday party, family reunion, or corporate event. You will not want to forget it soon.