Archive for Uncategorized

Yesterday, with two out in the top of the ninth inning, in a tie game between the Brewers and White Sox at US Cellular Field, Nyjer Morgan was caught attempting to steal third — what he was thinking, however, every Brewers fan (and probably every other member of the Brewers organization) would like to know. (Sorry: for some reason MLB video didn’t offer the option to embed this clip.)

To make this NotGraphs-eligible, I’ve creatively recreated this play in my office at work:

The wind-up circus bear here represents the spirit that possessed Morgan on the play. The circus bear is an unpredictable soul, aware that it is display for the amusement of the masses, sometimes prepared to awe, sometimes lashing out against his own best interest. Such has been the dramatic career of Nyjer Morgan.

Hey, cheer up, R.A. Dickey! Sure, you crashed back to earth on Sunday night*. But not before you went off on a HISTORIC RUN OF DOMINANCE!** Brush off those pesky Yanks — it’ll turn around for you soon. And listen, so long as you’re just sitting around waiting for your “violent, weird, fickle” mistress, you should totally check out this mix I put together for you.

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Chipper Jones and Derek Jeter, elder statesmen of baseball and legends of slapstick, took a moment Tuesday at Yankee Stadium to plug their latest big-screen caper. (Click to embiggen)

Davey Johnson on Joe Maddon:

“I don’t know him that well, but I thought he was a weird wuss anyways.”

Link.

When did Davey Johnson become a grumpy old codger? Wasn’t he the first guy with a computer, looking for every edge he could get? Or, as a commenter on Baseball Think Factory said: “On the Mets broadcast they were talking about this and they said ’30 years ago Davey Johnson was Joe Maddon.'”

Because Fathers Day is a week-long holiday.

Yahoo had an article last week about the ten worst Father-Son duos in MLB history. I think this article is not terrific.

7. Jose Cano, P/Robinson Cano, 2B –
Jose Cano played in the big leagues for one year. He played with the Houston Astros in 1989. His record was 1-1 with a 5.09 ERA. Nothing special there. Robinson, however, is still active and is currently playing for the New York Yankees. Robinson is on track for a great career, as he’s batting a solid .307 and has already hit 152 homers.

4. Cal Ripken Sr., Manager/Cal Ripken Jr., 3B – Ripken Sr. spent 36 years, beginning in 1957 with the Baltimore Orioles organization. He spent 13 years in the Orioles’ farm system as a player, coach and scout. He spent very little time in the majors as a player. Cal Ripken Jr. played for the Baltimore Orioles from 1981-2001 and is one of baseball’s best. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2007 after a stellar career.

1. Bobby Bonds, OF/Barry Bonds, OF –
I’m probably going to get killed for putting this father-son duo on this list, but I don’t care. Bobby Bonds played from 1968-1981 for eight different squads, including the San Francisco Giants and the 1978 Texas Rangers. He was a great hitter, and he retired with 1,886 hits and 332 homers. Barry Bonds played from 1986-2007 with the Pittsburgh Pirates and the San Francisco Giants. He retired with 2,935 hits and 762 homers. All those with an asterisk.

Um, Robinson Cano is pretty awesome, any duo with Cal Ripken as part of it can’t possibly rank in the ten worst, and Bonds isn’t even worth getting into.

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Are you a baseball player looking to get a divorce?

The law firm of Edwards & Associates has a web page specifically for you.

Divorce and Family Law for Professional Baseball Players

We have the experience in high-asset divorce to represent MLB players, including up-and-coming prospects who are waiting for a call-up from the minors. A major league career can be very lucrative, with average salaries around $3 million and an average MLB career of more than five years. With signing bonuses and guaranteed contracts, it’s certainly a good living.

We also understand the realities of baseball — the wear and tear of 162 games in 180 days (not including spring training or the playoffs), the long trips away from the wife and kids, and living life in the media fishbowl. Some marriages just aren’t built for that life.

When the marriage has broken down to the point of divorce, Edwards & Associates can represent either party (the ballplayer or the spouse) in contested proceedings. We handle the special issues for baseball players and their families:

Property division and alimony
Division of MLB pensions
Child custody and visitation
Determination of child support
Paternity suits

This makes me so proud to be licensed to practice law.*

*If any MLB players (or their wives!) are reading this and need someone to help with their divorce, please contact me to arrange a private consultation.

The unwritten rules of baseball extend into the crowd. For example, there’s a decorum that governs when spectators should boo. Sometimes gentleman, sometimes bartender Jon Rauch helps us out:

Very disappointed with the fans who booed Jason Bay as he came off the field. This is a serious injury that affects his livelihood (cont)

— Jon Rauch (@jrauch60) June 16, 2012

Well, okay, that one was obvious. Jason Bay ran full tilt into the outfield wall trying to catch a ball and suffered a concussion for it. Maybe that wasn’t the best time to boo him.

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A recent spate of ballplayers showing questionable judgment in their extracurricular activities expanded to the West Coast this weekend, as Giants first baseman Brandon Belt — known as “Baby Giraffe” for his resemblance to the long-necked animal — was photographed jumping into a swimming pool with an unnamed actual giraffe. The relationship between the two is unclear, and Belt was not available for comment. “He’s a grown man,” said Giants skipper Bruce Bochy. “I mean, he’s kind of — he’s pretty much a grown man. What he does with his personal time is his business. My own feelings about giraffes have nothing to do with it.”

According to TMZ, Vladimir Guerrero pays over $25,000 in child support each month, for eight children with five different women.

[scrippet]
CHILD ONE
I tried to call and wish him a Happy Father’s Day, but the line was busy all day!

CHILD TWO
I kept getting his voice mail. And the mailbox was full.

CHILD THREE
I got him a Father’s Day card, but he said he already had three of the same card I bought. There simply aren’t enough unique Father’s Day cards. Hallmark, you suck.

CHILD FOUR
I think it’s almost my turn to see him again this Christmas. Too bad he won’t remember what I look like, since the last time it was my turn was 2004, and I was one.
[/scrippet]

The latest paternity lawsuit was filed by a woman named Heidy Ogando, who, hopefully for Alexi Ogando of the Rangers, is not his wife. Although if it is, perhaps this gives the Blue Jays players a reason not to be too upset he won’t be joining them in Toronto.

“I like my wife,” said Casey Janssen.

The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human ambition.
-Carl Sagan

Last night, however, the universe was in perfect harmony with the ambitions of Matt Cain, who, arguably, is more than human.

—

To all those who emailed me about Carl Sagan in various MLB team hats: if I haven’t gotten you a jpeg yet, I will. Twenty teams were requested, so, you know. Also, make sure that when you leave a comment requesting said jpeg that you enter a valid email address in the comment apparatus.