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There’s the mainstream media, once again underestimating the New York Yankees. Mark Hale of The New York Post wrote a piece this weekend: “Nine current Yankees have shot at Hall of Fame.”

The Yankees could see nine players on this year’s squad be enshrined in Cooperstown — which would match the most by any team — coincidentally, with the 1931, 1932 and 1933 Yankees, who also had nine players make it.

Nine? What in the world is Mark Hale talking about? The Yankees have at least twenty-seven players on their 40-man roster likely to make the Hall of Fame and possibly as many as forty-three. Sure, the nine mentioned in the article (Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Alex Rodriguez, Ichiro Suzuki, Robinson Cano, Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia, Andy Pettitte and Andruw Jones) are all obvious slam-dunks, especially Teixeira, but how in the world could Hale ignore the achievements of the other eighteen HOF slam-dunks on the Yankees roster?

Jayson Nix: Batting .357 since the All-Star Break. That’s Tony Gwynn territory there.

Joba Chamberlain: An amazing comeback from breaking his leg into sixteen pieces after eating a trampoline. He’s struck out more than a batter an inning for his career. He hasn’t hit a batter since 2011. Amazing.

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Frank Mathers
Frank’s nickname is “Slim” because he’s fatter than his brother Marshall, not because he’s shady or anything.

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You may not know it, but Aaron Cook, who takes the hill tonight for the Boston Red Sox, is in the midst of a[n] historic season.

The 25 men listed in the table* below have the lowest seasonal K/9 among pitchers who have completed at least 40 innings in a season during the expansion era (1961-present).
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Red Sox reliever Andrew Bailey, quoted at WEEI.com:

“I don’t give a [expletive], frankly. I just want to play and get to the playoffs,” Bailey said. “Whatever role they see fit, that’s what I’m going to do. If it’s setting up, if it’s doing whatever, that’s fine by me and we’ll address it next spring.”

But that’s only the beginning. Here at NotGraphs, we’ve been able to get our hands on the rest of Bailey’s interview:

Wait a minute. I said all that [expletive] because I assumed the Sox were still in playoff contention. You’re telling me we’re in fourth [expletive] place, ten [expletive] games out? What the [expletive]? I know I said I didn’t care if I was the [expletive] closer, but [expletive]! [Expletive] [expletive] [expletive]! If we’re not even going to make the [expletive] playoffs, it’s a little [expletive] ridiculous for me to take a [expletive] bullet for this [expletive] organization and agree to do whatever the [expletive] they want. I want a [expletive] multiyear contract at the end of this [expletive] season, not a [expletive] minor league [expletive] invite after I throw fifteen [expletive] mop-up innings and don’t [expletive] show anyone that I can still [expletive] pitch. They don’t even show me the [expletive] standings over in [expletive] rehab. They let all of us [expletive] think we’re [expletive] rolling to a division title and now you [expletive] tell me we’re one [expletive] spot from last [expletive] place? The [expletive] Blue Jays are a half game below us? The [expletive] Orioles are three and a half games ahead of us? The [expletive] Orioles? [expletive]! This whole [expletive] [expletive] is crazy, man. Of course I want to [expletive] close. I need [expletive] counting stats. I need to get the [expletive] out of here. [Expletive]. I don’t know what the [expletive] I was talking about. I have to call my [expletive] agent.

If there’s one principle at the very core of my personal philosophy, it’s that no cockle should be left unwarmed. I was, therefore, thrilled recently to be entrusted with a reader’s chilled cockles and given explicit instruction on how to warm them. Although they were too demure to share the state of their own cockles, several of said reader’s colleagues were clearly in need of similar attention. And so, being the service-oriented writer that I am, I put together the following.

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This past weekend, outfielder Lew Ford was called up to the Orioles after not playing in the major leagues since 2007. Here is a sampling of the reaction on Twitter.

A story I wrote about Lew Ford a month ago, when he said he would be shocked to be back in majors: bit.ly/QpTOiL #BEscores

— Christopher Dabe (@cmdabe) July 29, 2012

Lew Ford? Unsure if I should be happy for him or laughing at the Orioles.

— Mike Petriello (@mike_petriello) July 29, 2012

Lew ford batting 5th for Baltimore I didn’t even think he was alive twitter.com/michaelsvoss/s…

— Michael Voss (@michaelsvoss) July 29, 2012

NO WORRIES LEW FORD WILL SAVE US

— Fake Oriole Bird (@FakeOrioleBird) July 29, 2012

Love these stories. Congrats @Captainlew20 RT @EddieInTheYard: Lew Ford starting today in LF and hitting fifth. #Orioles”

— CJ Nitkowski (@CJNitkowski) July 29, 2012

Congratulations to Lew Ford for making it back to majors. We’ve made fun of him a lot, but he was and is an overachiever.

— Jim Souhan (@SouhanStrib) July 29, 2012

Congratulations, Lew.

The tougher the battle the sweeter the victory. This is crazy I’m back! Thank you everyone who supported and believed twitter.com/Captainlew20/s…

— Lew ford (@Captainlew20) July 29, 2012

The Prospect Not Sheet is not a ranking of prospects. I don’t know what it is, but it is definitely not a ranking of prospects.

No. 1 / Taijuan Walker, RHP / Mariners

What he’s eating: Walker enjoyed three bowls of Special K this week, which gave him almost as many nutrients as a third of a bowl of Total.

Why he’s here: In December of 1991, Mr. and Mrs. Walker decided it had been far too long since the two of them had enjoyed… well, you can imagine the rest.

Last week: Walker, the youngest pitcher in the Southern League, finally had the training wheels removed from his bicycle.

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Jason Schwartz of Boston Magazine has written an incredible article about Curt Schilling and the demise of 38 Studios, his video-game company that fell into bankruptcy last month. I don’t know that I’ve read a better magazine piece this year. You should absolutely read the whole thing, but a few highlights:

By 2006, Curt Schilling had earned more than $90 million playing baseball, not including endorsements. But what he really aspired to was being “Bill Gates rich.”

Once, after an IT guy’s rottweiler died, Schilling presented him with a brand-new pup during an all-staff meeting.

“He really needed Company 101,” [former CEO] Close told them. “For example, the whole concept of vacation was foreign to Curt. He actually said, ‘People get weekends off, right?’” Schilling at one point suggested that people work 14 straight days and then take five days off. It jibed with his baseball experience.

Schilling comes off in the piece as naive but not evil. He thought he could create a successful software company with the same willpower that had him pitching through injury. But software, alas, is not about physical ability.

I recommend avoiding any future investment in Bryce Harper’s new Internet startup or Mike Trout’s food services distribution company. (Trout Trout, perhaps?)

From time to time here in these pages, this being the first time, we like to pause to celebrate the lesser baseball players and their small moments of heroism that might otherwise be forgotten. Today we honor Chad Griffin Durbin, at this moment forgettably engaged in the bullpen of the Atlanta Braves. Mr. Durbin’s career has been forgettable by virtually any measure. Among active pitchers with 700+ IP, he ranks last with 1.7 WAR, or, less than half as valuable as Guillermo Mota. Mr. Durbin has spent 13 seasons in the major leagues. His Wikipedia article states that he “is not related to Dick Durbin, the senator from Illinois, former MLB pitcher J.D. Durbin or 1930’s Seattle Time’s syndicated columnist Derby Durbin.” I detect a mournful tone here. We cannot even depend upon linkage to a marginally less forgettable relative, it seems, to salvage Chad Durbin from the dungheap of memory.

But for one sweltering Kansas City afternoon in the summer of 2001, Chad Durbin was the Durbin; Chad Durbin was a hero. Facing the mighty Seattle Mariners — who had just hosted an All-Star game with four of their own players in the starting lineup, and would go on to compile the most wins in the history of the sport — Durbin hurled eight shutout innings, giving up a scant three doubles and a single, and striking out six. As it turned out, Jamie Moyer also hurled eight shutout innings, and the Royals went on to lose in 10. But for those two glorious hours, the downtrodden souls of Royals Nation held their collective breath as their unlikely champion brought a murderers’ row to its knees.

Since that day, Chad Durbin has traveled from one coast to the other, toiling in replacement-level obscurity. But nothing can erase July 18, 2001 from the annals of history. Chad Durbin, you will not be forgotten.

Q: Why should I be patient with Justin Upton in a keeper league?

A: Because he may need all the compassion you can offer. Often times, you don’t know what medical problems may be lurking beneath the surface, undiagnosed, causing significant drops in production without logical explanation. By the time they think to perform the right tests, it could be far too late, and Upton could be well on his way to an early grave. And you wouldn’t want to be the owner who dropped him three weeks before the flesh-eating bacteria consumed him whole. (Unless you’re just that competitive, in which case the stress is likely to bring you down as well.)

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