Archive for Uncategorized

Another week, another opportunity for rejected headlines.

Last night, I had an interesting dream. In the dream, I found a pile of reimbursement checks that had been written to me, from the Mets, compensating me for attending seven of their games. The checks were for $20 each, which seemed like an appropriate amount that the Mets should have to pay someone to watch them play. But, sadly, the checks had expired, and I needed to call the Mets’ offices and ask if they could reissue them. (There was a picture of Terry Leach on the checks. I don’t know why. I’m pretty sure Terry Leach hadn’t crossed my mind since 1987.) As I was waiting on hold, I turned toward the TV and saw a headline scrolling at the top of the screen: “Jason Kipnis traded to the Mets for four players.” And then I woke up.

I immediately started to wonder — who were the four players?

Read the rest of this entry »

Hey guys — and I mean “guys” in a non-gendered way, like saying, “Hey people,” but maybe that is not enough, maybe I should just say, “Hey, people” —

Hey friends, something sorta crappy happened to me the other day. We all have crappy days; I hope your day is better than the day that I had the other day. So, we — the Pittsburgh Pirates, I mean — played a really long extra innings game. It was 19 innings long. It took over six hours to play, and I caught the whole game. It was pretty cool, ’cause we won and all, and it was a big game against the Cardinals and they’re always a tough team to beat.

“That’s awesome! I like pink, too!”

But me, personally, I didn’t get a hit. I didn’t get to base at all and I went up to bat eight times. Eight. I mean, you’d think something would break right, right? Think I’d work a walk or force an error. Nope. One of those at-bats was even a double play, so I made nine outs — three whole innings worth! — in just eight trips.

I mean here we are, playing this tight game — crucial game against the Cards — Jeffy’s pitching great, and here I am just making all these outs. I was in bummer city, friends, and I’m normally a pretty positive guy — super positive guy.

Read the rest of this entry »

I told readers in a recent post that if you followed me on Twitter, I’d check out your blog. Here’s the latest in a series that takes a look at some NotGraphs reader blogs and points you toward some interesting things I find. If you’d like to potentially be included in a future post, it’s easy.

1. Here’s a fun book review of Curious George at the Baseball Game. Are there other children’s books about baseball that could benefit from a sabermetrically-minded analysis? That could be a fun series for someone to write.

2. Here’s a very nicely Photoshopped collection of MLB catchers with goat hands, which makes (slightly) more sense if you read the post.

3. Six weeks too late, but this “do I have the ball?” trick played by Ryan Zimmerman to catch Carlos Gonzalez off third base is pretty cool, and a nicely done GIF.

4. Some solid-looking analysis of whether Nick Swisher ought to remain a Yankee next season.

As any of my fellow NotGraphs contributors will proudly attest, our primary purpose here is to advance the state of baseball knowledge through cutting-edge research. To that end, I now submit to you the results of a study designed to resolve a question of vital interest. Namely: which players, in the history of this sport, have been the most overappreciated and underappreciated? Or, stated in the vernacular: of which players is it coolest, and lamest, to be a fan? You might think that such a subjective question would thwart all empirical investigation. But you would be severely underestimating the resources (and the wits) at our disposal here at the NotLabs. Among those resources is a series of measurements that provide a precise and infallible index of what we may casually term “fame”: the number of backlinks to every ballplayer’s Wikipedia page.* Players who are more famous, we postulate, will have more Wikipedia pages linking to their own page. By plotting a player’s backlink count against his career WAR, we may generate a regression line that predicts fame based on value, and then measure deviations from that line. In our first application of this methodology (to hitters only), we obtain the following. Discuss.

Read the rest of this entry »

From the New York Daily News:

In a bizarre attempt to avoid a 50-game drug suspension, San Francisco Giants star Melky Cabrera created a fictitious website and a nonexistent product designed to prove he inadvertently took the banned substance that caused a positive test under Major League Baseball’s drug program.

Cabrera associate Juan Nunez, described by the player’s agents, Seth and Sam Levinson, as a “paid consultant” of their firm but not an “employee,” is alleged to have paid $10,000 to acquire the phony website. The idea, apparently, was to lay a trail of digital breadcrumbs suggesting Cabrera had ordered a supplement that ended up causing the positive test, and to rely on a clause in the collectively bargained drug program that allows a player who has tested positive to attempt to prove he ingested a banned substance through no fault of his own.

1. Where’s the link? I want to see this website.

2. Why can’t I get $10,000 to create phony websites? I have actual experience in this department! Attention, baseball players: If you want to pay $10,000 for a phony website, I am available for hire. Bulk discount if you need sites for multiple illegal products.

It came to this author’s attention recently that basketballer Metta World Peace is to appear in an upcoming episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.

If you are not familiar with Mr. World Peace’s work, note that he is a forward/crazy person for the Los Angeles Lakers. He is one of my favorite basketball players, not because of his play (which has diminished over the years), but because of his general disregard for social normalcy and civilized behavior.

If you are not familiar with the television show Yo Gabba Gabba, note that it is a show on the Nickelodeon network enjoyed by children, hipsters, and of course hipster children. Its style beckons back to that of Sid and Marty Krofft , with its colorful fantasy characters and overt drug overtones.

But why, fair readers, should only NBA players be allowed to appear on this delightful program? Surely an MLB player would provide a passable performance whilst also giving baseball more exposure to the doomed youth of today.

So which baseballer would you like to see in Yo Gabba Gabba? The winner of the below poll will have an abbreviated episode written for them by yours truly. If you feel that I’ve unfairly excluded someone (and I’m sure you do), please provide your write-in choice in the comments.

Vote early. Vote often. And, for God’s sake, think of the children.

[polldaddy poll=6471277]

The best of yesterday’s reader-submitted Rejected Melky Cabrera Headlines:

Muscle Melk

The Melk’s Gone Bad

Melktoast!

Don’t Cry Over Pilled Melk

Land Of Melk and Money

The Melky Way Is Expanding

It’s good to be king, as Max and Felix Hernandez both know. FiFi says he’s a Mariner for life, but what about after? Why, after, he’ll join the All-Time Royalty All-Stars. And probably win a few more games. (Peak single-season WAR listed for batters, lowest single-season FIP- for pitchers.)

UPDATE: Thanks to alert readers for reminding me of “Rajah” Hornsby and “Burger” King.

Read the rest of this entry »

Vote for your favorite! Or write your own, and I’ll share the best tomorrow!