The three people you meet in heaven are not Spike Lee, Shaquille O’Neal, and Dustin Pedroia, it turns out, as that triumvirate is currently occupied watching the Jets-Pats game in the Meadowlands tonight. Naturally.
H/T: Every person on my Twitter feed.
You may not be aware that world famous singer, wrapper, and sous chef Jose Reyes also is a shortstop of great quality and is currently unemployed, all alone, and looking for a new club that can help him mend his aching hamstring and make him whole again. But while he does need a new team, one thing Jose Reyes says he does not need is your friendship.
Indeed, Jose Reyes doesn’t make friends, as he explains while rapping with some passing acquaintances he just happened upon, and for whom he has little regard and almost no emotional investment:
Jay Johnstone, Fleer ’84, #495.
Cloudy with a 100% chance of PARTYIN!
DID YOU KNOW…
1. …that Jay Johnstone was a notorious clubhouse prankster?? From his wikipedia page: He pulled off a number of infamous pranks during his playing days, including placing a soggy brownie inside Steve Garvey’s first base mitt, setting teammate’s cleats on fire (known as “hot-footing”), cutting out the crotch area of Rick Sutcliffe’s underwear, locking Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda in his office during spring training, dressing up as a groundskeeper and sweeping the Dodger Stadium infield in between innings, nailing teammate’s cleats to the floor, and replacing the celebrity photos in manager Lasorda’s office with pictures of himself, Jerry Reuss and Don Stanhouse. One time, during pre-game warm ups, he climbed atop the Dodger dugout and, in full game uniform, walked through the field boxes at Dodger Stadium to the concession stand and got a hot dog. He also once dressed up in Lasorda’s uniform (with padding underneath) and ran out to the mound to talk to the pitcher while carrying Lasorda’s book and a can of Slim Fast.
2. …that Lou Brock owns the patent for the umbrella hat (officially called the Brockabrella??
3. …that this – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c74eT6MC9co– exists??
THE MORE YOU KNOW!
What is rarer than a handlebar mustache? More powerful than a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles? The answer, by God, is Wally Moon’s unibrow, which we debuted last Thursday here on NotGraphs:
Wally Moon’s eyebrow, by itself can lift heavy loads. It can do complicated maths. It can convey emotions like disappointment, astonishment, frustration, and skepticism roughly 33% more effectively than your own two eyebrows together.
But it did not start that way. Journey with me now to what looks like some time in the 1940s, before the eyebrow: Read the rest of this entry »
Swoon. C.J. Wilson is a free agent, and although not the prettiest girl at the dance (figuratively of course!) he is sure to have his fair share of sugar daddies vying for his services. Where’s he going to end up? Straight from the (work)horse’s mouth, in an interview with ESPN Dallas last week:
“At some point you need to be made to feel special. If you have a wife or a girlfriend – or both, some people like to party – and you don’t make them feel special, eventually they feel neglected and they feel left out and like they’re not part of the party. So Texas is going to have their chance to do that obviously after the World Series is over, and we’ll go from there.”
Okay, so he needs to feel it. I dig – I mean, who doesn’t want to feel special? Who doesn’t want to party?! Now, if only there was a video of some sort where C.J. Wilson talks about his perfect suitor. If only…
Cut to some Yankee’s intern getting sent to the New York public library to find out everything he can about film noir. “Did you know that The Killers is an adaptation of a Hemingway short story? Isn’t Chinatown great? What do you think of the Coens’ work is more a tribute or a challenge to the form?”
The Bachelor, starring C.J. Wilson, Monday’s at 8, on NBC.
On to Tatts!
Here is my favorite tattoo:
It’s the famous Drunken-Double-Flamingo-In-Sunglasses-Flanking-Generic-Hawai’ian-Sunset neck tatt! It is my favorite tattoo because it is so far removed from any practical or even meaningfully expressive purposes. It was acquired in irony, almost assuredly while inebriated, and probably regretted to the point of deep depression immediately upon sobering. Then again, maybe its bearer is such a deeply ironic (or vapid) individual that he has no regrets. It is hard to tell. Perhaps he loves turtlenecks, and will relish an opportunity to wear them to all job interviews, family outings, and first dates for the rest of his days. More power to him. I mean, if a highly privileged, secular Westerner is going to get a tattoo, why should he not pile on the frivolity?
I believe we may have a meme on our hands.
First, Tony La Russa called a dog, who was very quick to note that he is, indeed, a dog.
Yo, dog. Thanks, dog.
Then, Tony La Russa was apparently having problems with his credit card company, and the customer service wasn’t very helpful (hat tip: Kyle Kaestner on Twitter):
Peggy doesn’t tend to be very helpful, whether it’s customer service or getting the right reliever warming.
Neither Peggy nor the dog helped get Jason Motte warming, but given the persistence of Tony La Russa, one can’t imagine he gave up there. So I leave it to you, NotGraphs readers. Who else did Tony La Russa call?
Tampa Bay Rays catcher and celebrated mustachioed gentle-man, John Jaso, was apparently on a mountain sometime recently.
Baseball and Internet’s friend and associate, Fernando Perez, shared this enormous photo, made annoyingly small for the viewer’s convenience:
I once coined the term Mountain Mantality — an all-too-obvious combination of mountain man and the mentality therein — to help explain to my wife how my pants endure months on end without needing a wash and how peeing on a campfire is a rite of passage.
I feel like John Jaso, here pictured, helps embody that rugged out-of-doorsiness, and for that reason, should today be celebrated.
Based on the comments from Thursday’s Kulturkampf, I’d be remiss not to address Scott Feldman’s “positively rabbinic red beard.”
What emotion is the Cards’ skipper feeling right now?
During the first game of the world series, the booth had a chance to talk to Tony La Russa about emoting in the dugout. They pointed out that Ron Washington had a much more expressive style and asked the Cardinals manager about his emotional state.
To paraphrase the stoic response (delivered with a smirk), La Russa said that he was broiling on the inside. And that Washington’s style (“when you do something good, show your emotions“) was fine as long as it came from a genuine place.
Popular psychology has a preference for emoting. The American Pyschological Association states that anger “turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.” Recent medical research even suggests that a single tear can help reduce allergies and reduce pain from arthritis — and maybe even help regulate the immune system.
What do our psychological cornerstones have to say on the subject? Would they want La Russa to emote more?
