Wally Moon Is Better Than You

What is rarer than a handlebar mustache?  More powerful than a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles?  The answer, by God, is Wally Moon’s unibrow, which we debuted last Thursday here on NotGraphs:

Wally Moon’s eyebrow, by itself can lift heavy loads.  It can do complicated maths.  It can convey emotions like disappointment, astonishment, frustration, and skepticism roughly 33% more effectively than your own two eyebrows together.

But it did not start that way.  Journey with me now to what looks like some time in the 1940s, before the eyebrow:

(Photo courtesy of wallymoon.com)

A young Wallace Wade Moon raises his hand to his eerily bisected brow and salutes.  What is he saluting?  Why you, gentle reader, for you are the future of his great nation.  And Wally Moon respects the hell out of that.  If this ever-changing world in which we live in makes you give in and cry, you just remember that Wally Moon believes in you, and you salute right back.  That man wears his eyebrow with pride, defiant of societal convention.  Learn from him.

Mike Bates co-founded The Platoon Advantage, and has written for many other baseball websites, including NotGraphs (rest in peace) and The Score. Currently, he writes for Baseball Prospectus and co-hosts the podcast This Week In Baseball History. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter @MikeBatesSBN.

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11 years ago

I see a Paul McCartney lyric.

The Common Man
11 years ago
Reply to  Yirmiyahu

It’s true, I’m a huge fan of “Ebony and Ivory.”