Angry Players in Party Hats: A New Years Photo Essay
Archive for Stupid Photo Essay
The 2016 Houston Astros
Upon hearing the news that Jeff Luhnow, the new General Manager of the Houston Astros, reads Baseball Prospectus and The Book and that 2. Keith Law recently interviewed for a position in the Astros front office, I have found a deeply repressed wellspring of optimism. Does this optimism derive from a single player on the Astros team or in their farm system? No. Does it derive from the fact that the Astros will, after next year, be battling in the more difficult American League, as well as playing in the same division as Albert Pujols (again)? No. Does it derive from an unapologetic personal bias towards executives who understand WAR? Yes, it does. That optimism has, for me, painted a picture of the future. This is what that picture looks like:
“New” uniforms
Dogs Wearing Baseball Outfits
Some days you wake up and the world seems a little dreary — you slept for too long, you have a sink full of dirty dishes, and the drawing you were going to post on Notgraphs today isn’t coming together… Then you remember that we live in a world where sometimes dogs wear baseball outfits. All is well!
Meme Attempt: Eric Sogard
Thinking man’s base ball-ist Eric Sogard is, natch, something of a local hero on these electric pages. So because of his heroism and because he is indubitably a Thing That Contains Multitudes, we are duty-bound to make a not a man out of him — I feel certain that Raquel Welch and Adrienne Barbeau have already attended to those refreshing matters — but rather make a meme out of him.
What follows is this Internetting Gentleman’s — this memesmith’s, this smither of memes’s — attempt to do just that …
MLB’s Black Friday Deals
One backup catcher, 30+, on-base skills sold separately. Similar products have been flying off the shelves. (So if you missed out on Barajas, Blanco, Doumit, Laird, Schneider, Treanor, act fast, or Jason/Ramon Kendall/Castro will soon be yours!)
One outfielder, highly used, for the price of ten. $4,500,000 [SOLD OUT]
Stupid Photo Essay: Wally Moon Makes History
Last week, and the week before, we explored the potential of Wally Moon’s unibrow to raise America’s economic and political standing in the world, power its nuclear ambitions, and inspire our journey to the stars. But did you know that Wally Moon’s eyebrow has the power to travel through time?
I thought not.
It’s unclear whether Wally Moon’s unibrow has constructed a machine that runs off the brow’s middle third, or whether it is able to vibrate at the exact frequency that opens an Einstein Rosen bridge (or wyrm hole) to send Moon hurtling back through time, or whether it Moon’s unibrow simply awoke to find itself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not its own, and driven by an unseen force to change history for the better, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that its next leap will be the leap home.
But regardless of how Wally Moon found himself as a small town sheriff in the 1870s, he did. And wouldn’t you like to know how the unibrow looks in a cowboy hat? Yes, you would. So let us now trace Wally Moon’s brief time as the sheriff of some random town in the American West:
1) Here we see Sheriff “Bender” accosted by young ne’er-do-well Larry Hanify, who fools the green lawman into thinking that heroic wagon train leader Hank McGrath is a murdering scoundrel.
Couples Worse Than Matt Kemp & Rihanna
A recent blog post from Chad Moriyama:
As the story goes, Matt Kemp‘s 2010 was ruined because he was distracted due to his relationship with pop star Rihanna. No, it wasn’t his horribly flawed swing that was to blame, because that would require actual analysis, it was his girlfriend (and if that sounded like a canned scene from “Moneyball“…yeah).
So as I’ve come to expect, with the recent rumor that they are back together again, Dodgers fans have resumed flipping out over whether to sign him to an extension or not, fearing the 2010 down year more than ever.
Causing me to scour the Internet for even more dangerous-to-baseball couples than Matt Kemp and Rihanna. A brief photo essay:
When Phones Fail
A h/t to @iracane on Twitter for the scintillating image.
The Greatest Houseguest of All Time
Ever since seeing him inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2009, it’s been a dream of mine to meet Rickey Henderson and invite him over for tea and pie. Last week, my dream was finally realized. As you can see, Rickey had a really awesome time at my house!
Rickey don’t buy into that Bill James nonesense.
The All-Ugly Baseball Team Two
by Eno Sarris
October 18, 2011
Our All-Ugly team continues, on to the position players (who, by the way, would lose in an ugly battle with the pitchers and coaches). (What’s up with that?) (Any pitchers out there want to stand up for their kind?)
And lest any of you agree with my wife that this is all in poor taste, let me remind you that I a) included myself on the team and b) recognize that all of these men are real-life humans with real feelings and that this is all in good fun. Even Chase Utley has his bad days and all that.
Without further caveats, our All-Ugly lineup: