TORONTO – The Toronto Blue Jays are set to bring Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson back into the fold. Henderson will be announced as the Blue Jays’ first-ever sliding coach after Tuesday’s matinee against the Braves, NotGraphs has learned.

The move’s being applauded in baseball circles, both for its outside-the-box thinking, and because the Blue Jays clearly don’t know how to slide, especially into second base. Rickey Henderson does.

“Rickey’s going to teach these fools how to swipe a bag without spraining an ankle,” Henderson said, when NotGraphs caught up with him at breakfast Tuesday morning.

“Rickey’s embarrassed, to be honest with you. First Reyes, now Lawrie. Who’s next? Bautista? It’s Rickey’s job to make sure nobody else goes down.”

Jose Reyes, one of Toronto’s many – and arguably the most – prized offseason acquisitions, was injured in only his tenth game of the season, when he slid awkwardly into second base in Kansas City on April 12. A severely sprained ankle will keep him out of the lineup until mid-to-late June.

“Rickey never wants to see Reyes crying on the field after stealing a bag again,” a determined Henderson said. “Ever.”

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Directly following Angel Pagan’s dramatic walk-off inside-the-park home run on Saturday, Pagan and teammates Marco Scutaro and Andres Torres debuted their new musical act. The group, known as “Pagan Angel” in tribute to a Bradley Woodrum short story, plays what drummer Scutaro describes as “neo-glam-metalcore fusion.”

Previously: Eric Jagielo / Trey Michalczewski.

Last week’s Ask NotGraphs post brought 7 new questions. Thanks, readers. I will start with the strangest.

Hi Jerm

鬼佬

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Major-league purveyor of street justice Dave Stewart knows that it’s not nice to wallop one’s elder with the implement of destruction known as Dave Stewart’s igneous right hand, but when said elder makes with the kicky-pants the time for thunderclap soup-bones is at hand. Recoil and then spit out your teeth …

Pat Corrales, thou art cautionary tale made man.

File under: Classic F***ing Brawls.

I saw Tyler Skaggs. He was 89-90 on the fastball, the curve was good, but the changeup sucked. I saw Tyler Skaggs.

What? That’s his changeup now? And he was 92-93? Who’s this?

Tyler Skaggs?

Munenori Kawasaki is an international treasure. He is the kind of person UNESCO names a world heritage site. He has graced the sport of baseball like a meteorite of majesty and has pebbled our humble earth with GIF, video clip, and quote in his beautiful contrail.

On Sunday, Muni went 3-for-5 with a game-winning, walkoff double against the Baltimore Nonemploying-Kawasakis. A cadre of Toronto Kawasakis met Kawasaki in the middle of the field, and Cananada’s Torontoist city stirred and sparkled with the glory of Muni. For some reason, the television crew elected to interview Kawasaki utilityman Mark DeRosa instead of Kawasaki shortstop and game-winner Munenori Kawasaki.

But DeRosa knew. He had seen the glimmering majesty.
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The ancient solar dish had finally collapsed. Rusted from years of neglect and then welded into barely workable shape after a late resurgence of concern and dependency, the large rotating metal solar panel bent over and cast a plume of moondust three hundred feet into the air.

“That’s not good.” Dexter, who worked the center bunker, watched the plume rise. “Do we have other power sources?”

Michael radioed back from the starboard bunker. “There’s the thermal generator.”

“Will that be enough? Do we need to fix the solar dish?”

“Fix the solar dish!” Rafael’s voice crackled through the radio. It was Rafael’s record on the line. “Low power means low shields. Get some equipment and fix the dish.”
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Both the present author and Brewers reliever John Axford are professionals in their respective fields. As a result, any and all conversations conducted between them are, by definition, professional conversations.

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On the one hand, Josh Hamilton’s enthusiasm for swinging — documented in some depth by FanGraphs managing editor Dave Cameron earlier this season — has very likely hurt his ability to produce at a high level offensively. On the other, it allows one to make amusing constellations from the pitches at which Hamilton has swung.

Here, now, we see another entry in what may or may not become an ongoing series — in this case, from Hamilton’s May 22nd game against the Mariners (box). The constellation here bears more than a passing resemblance to a delicious prime rib, such as one might order at a Princeton eating club — or, at least, such as a cartoon character might order in a cartoon version of a Princeton eating club.

Credit to Texas Leaguers for the strikezone plot.