Archive for November, 2012

Do Not Go Gentle Unto That West Coast

According to the thinkers, how we are measured by whoever is doing the measuring lies in no small part in how we handle adversity. It’s called “grace under pressure”, as Hemingway liked to tell his poor wife Martha it while he shot down adorable zebras from the back of his rented Jeep.

We see it in Hemingway’s own Catherine Barkley, protesting mildly as she bleeds to death on a Swiss operating table. We see it in Oscar Wao, standing in the sugar cane, losing everything and yet finally a man. We see it in Rubashov, holding to his flawed ideals even with the pistol pressed to his temple. We see it in Hector, pitted against the Gods themselves, thinking only of the honor of his burial.

We see it in all these cases and a million more, the plight of every man and woman caught in conflict with an unfeeling and unyielding world, and knowing themselves in their defeat.

And we see it in Cyborg Tommy Hanson, caught in his own tempest, raising his cry against the heavens:

And for a full minute, the timelines of everyone on Twitter were filled with naught but the hollow echoes of Cyborg Tommy Hanson, who finally learned what it is to be a man.

Holiday Gift Idea: Left Field Cards

My previous holiday gift idea, posted on this very same internet yesterday, was sort of tongue-in-cheek — though I would be pretty damn stoked to meet, greet, and inevitably imbibe into oblivion with Wade Boggs.

This baseballing gift idea is perhaps more versatile and easier of which to make use. It’s Amelie Mancini’s Left Field Cards. NotGraphs’ resident (though AWOL?) expert on art, cats, baseball art, and cat art Summer Anne Burton featured Left Field Cards in a post back in April (and any of the art featured therein would make a fantastic gift, too, if you could lay your hands on any of it), but I thought it was worth mentioning again because the items are so very artistic, not to mention affordable.

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The All-Powerball Team

Dayn Perry, our intrepid NotGraphs moral center, broke a story yesterday. At CBS Sports Eye on Baseball (the home for all baseball fans), Mr. Perry pointed out that the winning Powerball numbers from the recent drawing matched with a veritable who’s-who of former Royals greats, and one of the winners is from the Kansas City area. It has yet to be seen if the winner was actually a Royals fan, but I found it to be a cool story nonetheless.

This led me wonder; who are the best six players who have uniform numbers matching the winning Powerball digits?

Based off of FanGraphs WAR, here’s what was discovered:

5 – Joe DiMaggio (91.9)

16 – Hal Newhouser (62.9)

22 – Roger Clemens (145.5)

23 – Ryne Sandberg (62.6)

29 – John Smoltz (82.5)

6 – Stan Musial (139.4)

Total WAR for the Powerball team – 584.8

Total Powerball Jackpot – $587.5M


Totally freaky? No. Pretty freaky? Yeah.

Calling It Quits

Fireman Ed called it quits. He’s no longer… the Jets’ superfan? As much as any man in his position can ‘quit’ his unofficial role, he’s doing so, at least that’s what he’s saying. Maybe he’ll provide inspiration…

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David Wright Contract Extension: Big Apple, 3 AM

According to Ed Coleman of WFAN 660, the Mets have signed third baseman David Wright to a seven-year, $122 million contract extension, the biggest in franchise history. The contract makes Wright a Met until 2020 — and quite possibly a Met for life.

Coleman broke the news just before 3 AM in New York City. Here’s a picture from the scene:

Stay tuned for more hot tips.

Top Beard/Spectacles Combination: Matthew Williams

Currently, Matthew Williams is a right-hander for Sydney of the Australian Baseball League. Before that, he was a pitching prospect in the Twins organization for six years. Before that, he lived his entire childhood naked and alone in the woods before emerging — with the same crudely designed spectacles as shown here — from the forests of his own accord.

Other Pedro Martinez Day

Today, November 29, I hereby declare to be Other Pedro Martinez Day. As you surely know, Other Pedro Martinez, also known as Pedro A. Martinez and Pedro Martinez Aquino, born on this date in 1968, was a perfectly respectable left-handed reliever for the Padres in the early 1990s. Then he got dealt to the Astros in the notorious Ken Caminiti – Steve Finley – Derek Bell megaswap, and basically dropped off the face of the earth, while his homonymous compatriot became one of the most dominating baseball players of all time. I have no idea where Other Pedro Martinez is now, or what sorts of awkwardness his name has incurred (actually, I can come up with some ideas on the latter). But I feel it is important to honor his sacrifice, as well as those of the following gentlemen. Perhaps you will help me think of others?

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Using Ichiro as a Crux for Social Commentary

Whilst browsing Twitter last week, I came upon a post from a Mariners fan known as @ichimeterlady. In said post, she included a note written by former Mariners player, Ichiro Suzuki. It can be seen below (click to blow that shizz up, yo.)

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Holiday Gift Idea: Wade Boggs Meet & Greet

If you’re not like my mother, you still have holiday shopping to do.

For the Wade Boggs fan in your life, look no further:

Yes, that is Wade Boggs throwing a knuckleball for the Yankees.

Wade Boggs is sort of the Bill Murray of Major League Baseball: both are cloaked in urban legend, always cool (in the sense of being unflappable and being hip), funny, and unpredictable; both had sorta underrated careers but have devoted followings.

That said, you can imagine all sorts of things that might happen should you give the gift of meeting, greeting, and candidly speaking with Mr. Wade Boggs to the Wade Boggs fan in your life…

Let’s say the Wade Boggs fan in your life meets, greets, and then speaks candidly with Wade Boggs on the topic of ocean fishing and how the Wade Boggs fan in your life just can’t stop wearing crappy Hawaiian shirts — the Wade Boggs fan in your life even wears them as undershirts, just like Wade Boggs does! The Wade Boggs fan in your life is very likely to hit it off with the Chicken Man, Wade Boggs.

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BJ Upton or Kate Upton?

1. Dating Justin Verlander

2. Just signed with the Braves

3. Was a young equestrian

4. Named Rookie of the Year*

5. Won a silver medal in Cuba for the Team USA Junior Nationals

6. Made acting debut in the film Tower Heist, as Mr. Hightower’s Mistress

7. Has been benched for lack of hustle

8. Played in the 2011 Taco Bell All-Star Legends & Celebrity Softball Game

9. Is 5-foot-10

10. Weighs 185 pounds

*In the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue

[Kate: 1,3,4,6,8,9]
[BJ: 2,5,7,10]