CarGo: King of the World
Titanic 3D “is not currently playing in or near the location you have selected.” Now that that’s out of the way, you can return to what’s important: Baseball.
Carry on.
Archive for June, 2012
Everyone in the Video for Dire Straits’ “Walk of Life”
June 5, 2012
Man has never wondered — definitely not aloud, and likely not to himself, either — if it would be possible to write two posts regarding the video for Dire Straits’ “Walk of Life” on a baseballing-themed blog within the span of just three or four days.
A pity, that, as the present dispatch does, in fact, represent the second such post in just such a span of days.
The object of this post: to identify all (or even one) of the baseball players in same video. A combination of Baseball Reference and the fusiform gyrus part of the author’s brain have conspired to start the list, as seen below.
The readership is invited to add to said list — or to sit there, mouth agape, staring into an uncertain future. Either one.
MLB TeeVee: Will (Clark) and (Mark) Grace
This is the eighth in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.
Today’s show: WILL (CLARK) AND (MARK) GRACE
Boughten: “If You Hear Any Noise It’s Just Me And The Boys Boppin” T-Shirt
It’s the t-shirt the Cobra, Dave Parker, made famous way back in 1976. And via the folks at Homage, it’s only $28! Or $39.63, in total, including shipping to the great nation of Canada. Pricey, yes, for a t-shirt, but at NotGraphs, we get paid the big bucks, and I sleep better at night knowing that I’ve done my part for your struggling economy, America.
On an aside, I want the Pittsburgh Pirates to be great again. Is that weird?
H/T: Calafornaheim.
Bob Uecker on Sunscreen and Where It Shouldn’t Go
June 5, 2012
Brewers broadcaster Bob Uecker thinks that both Usinger’s Famous Sausage and sunscreen are important things in this life. With regard to them meeting, however, his opinion is that, more or less, never the twain should — if not necessarily in those words.
Zombie Apocalypse, MLB Edition
It’s happening. After a series of cannibalistic attacks in the past week or so, I think we can say two things for sure: the Mayans were right, and we have chosen the form of the Traveller — not a delicious-if-irritable Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, nor a giant slor, nor a large and moving torb. The apocalypse will be brought to us by zombies, folks.
In honor of this, the last MLB season ever to be played and watched by fully living human beings, I offer you these images from the future — i.e. the 2013 MLB season that will be played and watched entirely by zombies.
Zombie Greinke: barely more unnerving than actual Greinke.
InDigestibles, #1: Know Your 1978 Stars
I picked a Baseball Digest at random. It was from 1978: year of Grease, “YMCA,” Space Invaders, the test tube baby, and Dave Parker, N.L. Batting Champ. Or so I’m told, having not yet been a sentient human at the time. But those of you who were will surely remember the following illustrious personages, and will most surely be able to pair each with the quote by or about him.
Tom Seaver Has No Friends
MetsBlog.com has a quote from Tom Seaver about Johan Santana’s no-hitter:
I’ve never met Johan personally, but, what I’ve heard about him is that he has a big heart and is a huge competitor. I didn’t watch the game last night. I found out when I picked up the morning paper.
Two things came to mind after reading this:
(1) If Tom Seaver is right, Johan Santana should see a cardiologist, because I think having a big heart is probably not a good thing, medically speaking, and he probably needs to take some medication or have some sort of surgical procedure to correct it.
(2) Really, Tom? You didn’t find out about the no-hitter until the next morning?
I Am Not Brian Wilson
On Sunday afternoon, scheduling peculiarities resulted in me missing my fast-pitch baseball game on the south side of Chicago and instead helping out in a slow-pitch softball game for a friend on the slightly-less-south side of Chicago. During the second game of the doubleheader, a slew of little league kids appeared, waiting to take the field from us.
Upon seeing me, many of the tykes began chanting: “Brian. Wilson.” Clapclap, clapclapclap.
This is why:
But I am not, in fact, Brian Wilson, though my face proteins may resemble his. Let us examine the differences:
Read the rest of this entry »
A Streaker’s Profound Message (#2)
It’s a thing, apparently, to take the field at Toronto’s Rogers Centre in your unmentionables, with a message painted across your chest, when the Boston Red Sox are in town. I don’t know; kids are stupid.
I preferred the YOLO fellow. He was saying, “I’m going to streak because I must streak.” This guy’s saying “I’m going to streak so I can get caught, arrested, have my picture taken by a professional photographer, go to jail for a bit, maybe, and then have a stupendously handsome writer document my experience on the Internet.”