MLB TeeVee: Will (Clark) and (Mark) Grace

This is the eighth in a series of short excerpts from MLB Network’s entirely imaginary new fall sitcoms. More details here.

Today’s show: WILL (CLARK) AND (MARK) GRACE

[scrippet]
INT. WILL (CLARK) AND (MARK) GRACE’S APARTMENT — DAY

WILL
So let me understand this, Mark. I’m gay.

GRACE
That’s what you tell me.

WILL
And you’re straight, but you like men.

GRACE
Yes.

WILL
So that makes you gay, and means the two of us are a perfect match.

GRACE
No, I’m straight.

WILL
But you like men.

GRACE
Yes.

WILL
And I’m a man.

GRACE
That’s what you tell me.

WILL
And I like men. Which means we can like each other.

GRACE
Wait, I’m not following.

WILL
Mark, we’re both playing for the same team.

GRACE
No, that wouldn’t work. Because we’re both first basemen.

WILL
No, you don’t understand. We don’t just have to go to first base.

GRACE
You’re twisting my words. I was talking about our position in the field.

WILL
I don’t want you to play the field. I want us to be together.

GRACE
I have to play the field. Playing the field is a good portion of my value. I mean, I’m a solid hitter, but I don’t have the kind of power you have.

WILL
You have enough power to admit you have feelings for me.

GRACE
Not this again. I’m straight.

WILL
And you like men?

GRACE
I do.

WILL
You’re losing me. Again.
[/scrippet]