During the eighth inning of Friday night’s game between Houston and Texas (box), Astros first baseman Carlos Lee hit a pop fly down the third-base line.
While, in many cases, a third baseman will defer to the shortstop on such a batted ball, it’s also fair to say that deference is not a quality with which Rangers third baseman Adrian Beltre is particularly familiar.
FB shares are going for around $40. I’d rather spend my money on any of this.
It’s with great pleasure — and a blood alcohol content cheerfully north of zero — that the editoriat of NotGraphs announces the Double-Entendre of the Year for 2012: backdoor cutter.
The Double-Entendre of the Year is an award intended to celebrate a base-and-ball term that marries function with the slyly transgressive. It’s chosen by our Highly Reputable and Totally Real Think Tank during their annual team-building retreat to the coastal city and carnal playground of Dubrovnik.
A brief list of previous winners:
2011: Front-Hip Sinker
2010: Fisted Single
2009: Donger
2008: Fisted Single
2007: Fisted Single
Oakland Athletics’ Pitcher Brett Anderson made a joke last night:
clique to embiggen
For a change of pace, I did today’s comic on my Wacom Tablet (which I never use).
Dale is about to knock on your door, ask to use your bathroom real quick.
Dale Thayer had a pretty bitchin’ Wednesday.
Woke up about nooner, pulled an Icer — that’s what he calls Icehouse — from the mini-fridge next to his bed, slid his fungal toes into his flip-flops. By the time he made it to the full-sized fridge in the kitchen, it was time for another Icer. Cold as ever. Free shivers, you know what I’m sayin’? Poured a bit on his toes — alcohol kills off the fungus.
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In my quest for some precious drop of value in the desert of meaning that is the postgame interview, I will use every tool at my disposal. Including the stupid pun. And the cheap audio effect.
I see six distinctive steps. I just don’t know what two of them are:
1. Five, down low.
2. Backhand five, also down low. Convenient, since their hands are already down there.
3. Lean back, hands in the air, feign surprise; like when you run into an old friend, or are the recipient of some good news.
4. ?
5. ?
6. Forty-four million dollar hug.
At first, I thought steps four and five had something to do with cooking. Salt and pepper? I don’t know, I was hungry. Then, for some reason, I thought about drugs. But, again, I’m not sure. You tell me: What the hell are they doing?
H/T: Thanks for the hot GIF, Beneath This Graveyard Western Sky.
Dear NotGraphs,
What are your five favorite baseball books?
Thanks,
Your Wife, Because You Asked Her For a Fake Question That Would Maybe Sound Real
Let us throw up at a ballgame, you and I.
Collars high, gents!
Wangs paraded, cavaliers!
Our testicles are covered with moss and lichen.
This is because they are boulders.
So let us throw up at a ballgame, you and I.
We enslave what we do not kill.
We cuddle with hookers in secret.
We do not visit places so much as we colonize them.
Pregnancies! Muzzle-loading weaponry! Crests on jacket breasts!
Yes, let us throw up at a ballgame, you and I.
Cannonade sex perpetrated with a buccaneering urgency!
Begin each day with a fresh haircut!
Solaced by the species difference between us and the middlebrow remainder!
Phalli forever as crisp as apples!
Lo, doughty brothers, let us throw up at this and every ballgame.
