Despite his conspicuous flaws — like his pitching, famously, and also his hitting, too, probably — Rick Ankiel continues to possess one of the league’s strongest (and, strangely, most accurate) throwing arms.

In fact, three of Ankiel’s most spectacular throws have occurred within the past two months. While none of them is so transcendent as either of the two outfield assists he recorded in a single game back in 2008, they’re certainly — each of them — exemplary examples of the genre.

Voila, readership:

7/29/11: Jason Bay at the plate.

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Normally, I am one to mock without ceasing those who would soliloquize on the Mobile Cellular Telephone during a delightful game of base and ball. However, it is good for the temperament — and helps prevent typhus and pleurisy — if the Businessman occasionally becomes the Leisured Businessman. And that, unfortunately, entails using the portable horn.

Of course, if the Businessman can conduct Business while still keeping his wits about him, then miracles follow …

You’re damn right he made the sale.

Washington National righty Brad Peacock made his first major-league start Wednesday night — an appearance that was much anticipated by the present author, if by few others. The 23-year-old struck out over a third of the batters he faced in 98.2 innings this year at Double-A Harrisburg — a figure that dipped to a still totally fine 23.5% after a mid-season promotion to Triple-A Syracuse.

Having only ever seen Peacock while under the influence of good cheer (and, it should be said, fermented beverages) at the recent FanGraphs event in San Francisco, I was happy to watch him again on Wednesday (under the influence of only one of the aforementioned stimuli).

Peacock wasn’t overwhelming, walking three while striking out just two in five innings, but he did occasionally feature a curveball that one could reasonably describe as having “aphrodisiac properties.”

Both curveballs you see here are from the third inning. The first one, above, is to Josh Satin and features 8.4 inches of glove-side movement and a full 10 inches of drop — relative to the league averages of 5.8 and 6.0, respectively, for a curveball.

The second one, below, is less impressive in terms of overall movement — 6.8 inches of glove-side movement and 8.1 inches of drop — but more impressive in that the person swinging and missing at it is the very talented Jose Reyes.

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Prostitutes have descended upon the convention floor (as requested by a certain randy delegate from Ohio), and that means the nominating process is done. So rejoice, suffragists: the time to vote has come! At stake in this urgent referendum? The matter of which current player should be nicknamed “Aqua Velva Man!”

As always, the nominees have been culled to suit the whims of the Secret Monarch …

Before the writer makes love to the reader with words, your Daguerreotype of the Evening …

Ignore, if you can, the dystopic Uniform from the Future and instead bathe in the glow of what is the lushest mustache you’ll see until the next time you run into an oil wildcatter at the saloon in 1891. This is the mustache a John McGraw Man wears. It is a mustache known throughout history as “The Payback McGloin.” It is Jeff King’s mustache. It is your Daguerreotype of the Evening.

Many will enter (bids), only one will leave (with an autographed Tom Milone hat).

The attentive reader, using the part of his brain responsible for memory, will recall how, yesterday, the author provided a clear-minded and level-headed status update on an autographed and game-worn Tom Milone hat recently made available at MiLB Auctions.

It’s with no little difficulty that the author maintains his trademark calm this Wednesday evening. For, in the hours between the present post and the one from yesternight, no fewer than nine bids have been placed on the Tom Milone hat in question, pushing the current high bid for said Tom Milone hat up to $26.00.

Despite the stark jump in price, many experts believe the game-worn and then autographed hat could eventually be worth enough to pay for an entire college education — or, that’s likely what experts would say were anyone to ask. With that sort of potential value at stake, it’s unlikely that bidding has ceased on this game-worn and autographed and green, yellow, and red Syracuse Chiefs hat from Latino night by Tom Milone at Alliance Bank Stadium on August 8, 2011.

Not since German blacksmith and noted beard enthusiast Johannes Gutenberg (pictured) introduced movable type to the entire world has said world been so excited about reading as it is today. For today is the same day that our Brothers in Literacy, Eric and Ted of Pitchers & Poets, have announced the first book to be read as part of their very exciting Pitchers & Poets Reading Club.

Although reading is difficult, and is actually used as a form of punishment in much of the country, it’s made slightly easier when done under the threat of peer pressure from totally faceless, and otherwise anonymous, virtual friends.

Are you the sort of person interested in details? These are they, courtesy the aforenamed Eric:

As a part of the reading club, we’ve invited some friends and fellow baseball writers to join us as we work through [Chad Harbach’s] The Art of Fielding a few chapters at a time. We’ll discuss the book, our feelings, and whatever else comes to mind as we move along, and hopefully generate conversation with you — the readers — who will read along with us at home. The plan is to read a certain number of chapters in a given time period with everyone tagging along, and at the end of each predetermined reading section we’ll provide our thoughts and invite fellow reading club members to participate. (Expect to read somewhere in the range of 100 pages every week.)

NotGraphs has learned that, among the aforementioned “friends,” NotGraphs’ own Dayn Perry and Navin Vaswani will be included. The present author has also taken steps towards becoming part of this Literary Circle, although there’s been some talk of “Italian people” being “ill-equipped” for “anything more complicated” than “unchecked procreation.”

More on that as this story develops.

Met reliever Ryota Igarashi officially joined the dark side Tuesday.

After years of bad press from George Lucas and his various iterations of the Star Wars saga, the dark side of the Force — via its main practitioners, the Sith people — has recently sought to rebrand its image.

Among the group’s most recent converts? Met relief pitcher Ryota Igarashi.

Igarashi was recently approached by Sith representatives regarding a potential conversion, and made said conversion official yesterday during a ceremonial lightsaber dedication at New York’s Citi Field.

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Dick Pole and Rusty Kuntz just came out with their position by position rankings of players with the best porn names from the 2011 season. The competition was especially tough in the outfield and among pitchers.

C: Dusty Brown
1B: Justin Smoak
2B: Nick Punto
SS: J.J. Hardy
3B: Justin Turner
LF: Lance Berkman
CF: Drew Stubbs
RF: Willie Harris

Starting Pitchers:
Phil Hughes
Doug Fister
R.A. Dickey
Josh Johnson
Chien-Ming Wang

Relief Pitchers:
Nathan Adcock
Charlie Furbush
John Danks
Kameron Loe
The Wood Brothers Triple Teamers (Kerry, Travis and Blake)

Our ongoing quest, in the manner of the noble knight-errant, is to assign players to cool nicknames rather than indulge in the tired, shopworn paradigm of assigning nicknames to cool players.

First, though, a brief jaunt through our Nickname Seeks Player Vaulted Halls of Honor:

“Bad Miracle” – Wily Mo Peña
“Captain Black Tobacco” – John Danks
“$45 Couch” – Yuniesky Betancourt
“Liván Hernández” – Liván Hernández
“Frog in the Pot” – Carlos Zambrano

The nickname up for grabs in this episode? It’s “Aqua Velva Man”!

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