Updated FEAR Projections
My unique projection system, FEAR (Frightening Events All Realized)*, is proud to present in-season updates for some of baseball’s top stars.
| NAME | AVG | OBP | SLG | wOBA |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Adam Dunn | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Matt Kemp | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| B.J. Upton | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Josh Hamilton | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Asdrubal Cabrera | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Mike Moustakas | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Ike Davis | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Brandon Belt | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Josh Reddick | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Victor Martinez | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Jason Heyward | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
| Ryan Howard | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 | 0.000 |
*Better acronyms are welcomed in the comments.
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
Fuck Everything And Retire