TechGraphs Monday News Headlines
- New Derek Jeter-themed iPhone app looks at statistics and tells players when it is time to retire.
- Everth Cabrera arrested for driving driverless car.
- Rangers announce robot will replace Ron Washington for remainder of season.
- Cards, Brewers exchange texts after controversial hit-by-pitch.
- Jonathan Lucroy has broken his smart phone.
- Justin Verlander tweets naked pictures of himself while on mound during start.
- The calculator on Chris Davis’s phone does not display enough digits to show his batting average as anything greater than zero.
- New technology able to bring Bud Selig back to life.
- Watch a robotic arm count the Astros television viewers on his robotic fingers.
- Did a computer generate these headlines? Click here to find out.
- The 123,456,789 things you need to know about Justin Verlander’s e-mail password.
Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.
#KeepNotGraphs. Please!
Dear competent person who could make this happen:
Sell #KeepNotGraphs shirts. Hmmm?
Or banana hammocks. Then we can all go to the beach and thrust for awareness.