Spotted in Arizona: A Miracle

As you may have noticed, Arizona’s license plates read, “Arizona: Home to Sadness.” This is objectively true, of course, but last night Arizona’s Major League Baseball Franchise, which is represented by poisonous snakes, provided the state’s beleaguered denizens with a board-certified base-and-ball miracle.

Prior to last night, a Law of the Universe, theretofore believed to be immutable, was that if the home team surrenders five runs in top of the 10th, then a loss is a fait accompli. Those plucky Snakes, however, declared that if coming back from five down in extra innings is a crime — much like loving you — then lock them up and place the key somewhere safely out of the prisoner’s reach. Yes, thanks mostly to a Ryan Roberts amble-off grand slam, Arizona, metaphorically, murdered the Dodgers with a sharpened cargo hook.

And that brings us to the most stirring image of any such game: the WPA chart. Behold:

In certain circles, such a rarely spotted WPA chart is known as “The Leftward-Facing Raygun,” but the learned discerner may also note a stirring resemblance to the Objective Pipe. Regardless of how this Rorschach strikes you, though, you should know that the Arizona Diamondbacks are here for those with nowhere left to turn.

(A hearty please and thank you to Hannah’s Tweet repository)