Reconsidering “Those Miami Darlins”

Because not all men are Dayn Perry, the world is less drunk beautiful than it could be.

Because I am not Dayn Perry, I could not post about the Miami Marlins theme song that is not the Miami Marlins’ theme song fast enough. (Hat tip to NotGraphs reader Jackson, nonetheless.) So now, I have to ride Mr. Perry’s coattails.

If, after reading Dayn’s post and consuming the aforementioned tuneage, you neglected to explore the array of similar videos suggested by YouTube, you missed some gems.

One such video, presumably directed by Michael Bay and produced by Daktronics Creative Services “to help unveil the new logo for the Miami Marlins . . . played at the first ever event at [the Marlins’] new stadium on November 11, 2011. It was a special event for the media, city and county officials as VIPs of the team introduced the stadium, the new logo, the name change and the look of their new uniforms.”

In other words, the following video is official Miami Marlins shit:

The Marlins’ marlin, which fucking flies, paints a cruise ship’s smokestack, brings some new assaulting colors to an already perfectly colorful shipping yard, tints a cathedral blue, coaxes a skyscraper to Crayola-an orgasm, then swirls around the Marlins’ new stadium as if being flushed down a toilet bowl, only to be ejected back out into the stratosphere — where a fish belongs.

If you didn’t know, now you do: The Miami Marlins do whatever the hell they want.

Was it the Marlins bid The Warriors: Come out and pla-a-a-y?