Poetry Is a Bleacher Report Comment

BleacherReport.com is much maligned in certain quarters of the sports fan internets. In my opinion, the ridicule heaped upon this humble web endeavor has reached truly absurd proportions. If not necessarily a source for quality sports analysis and discussion, BR is absolutely a source for quality art.

With only minimal effort (and alterations), I have uncovered some of the more beautiful sports-related poetry you will ever read.

Trapped in the Paradigm

From Tim Wakefield: Is the Boston Red Sox Pitcher a Hall of Famer?, via commenter “SouthOC”.

You’ve got to pat him on the back
for hanging on for so long
(dude has earned more money
than his grandchildren can spend).

But hall of famer???
Oh NO!

11 wins per year
is a far cry
from hall of fame numbers.

No,
no,
no…
a thousand times

NO!

 

So Easily Said

From What All 30 Teams Need to Acquire Before the Trade Deadline, via commenter Eugene Tober.

The Bucs do naad
a corner infielder
with pop in his bat.

But, they also need to improve
part of the middle
defense specifically,

catcher and shortstop.

 

Ty

From The 15 Most Selfish Players in Baseball, via commenter Jeffrey Beckmann.

Ty Cobb, he wasnt
as much selfish as he was
just a complete prick.

 

War of 1962

An exchange from The Top 10 Most Undeserving MVPs of All Time.

They had WAR in 1962?

Yeah,
that surprised me too.
Didn’t know
it went that far back.

You’re citing a stat
that you know nothing about?
No,
there was no such thing
as WAR in 1962.
Statisticians have simply gone back
and plugged numbers in.

 

Ad Infinitum

Also from The 10 Most Undeserving MVPs of All Time

I use regular season stats only
as I believe that the MVP is the best player
of the league during the regular season
because the postseason has its own awards.
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