Jayson Werth, Channeling Woody’s Allen’s Sexual Magnetism

Anyone who has made a priority of acquainting him- or herself with the top jams of American cinema will recognize the following as a brief excerpt from the scene in Woody Allen’s 1975 film Love and Death in which Allen’s character Boris attempts to seduce the very ample Countess Alexandrovna at a performance of Mozart’s The Magic Flute.

Allen Tongue

Anyone who has made a priority of watching this afternoon’s contest between the Washingtons and Los Angelenos will recognize the following as footage of Jayson Werth pondering the imponderable during his seventh-inning plate appearance against hard-throwing Dodgers right-hander Chris Withrow:

Werth Tongue

Finally, anyone who has made a habit in his or her life of jumping to conclusions will feel zero hesitation in concluding now that Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth has made a sly reference to the filmography of Woody Allen during the aforementioned seventh-inning plate appearance.

Note, of course, that the verity of the conclusion is a secondary matter. More important is that it should be true.

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Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

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Little Orphan Annie
Little Orphan Annie

Please don’t let Mr. Werth adopt me!