This is Noah Syndergaard, Mets pitching prospect. Would you like to see his statistics, perhaps cycled through Carson Cistulli’s famed SCOUT formula? Well, go ahead type in “SCOUT Leaderboard” into the Fangraphs search bar. I’ll wait.
I have created a transcript of your failed endeavours below.
Fangraphs search engine (FSE): “You want ‘SCOUT Leaderboard,’ you say?”
You: “Yes. I want to see if Carson has written anything about SCOUT lately.”
FSE: “Ah yes, here it is.”
FSE: “Can I help you within anything else? Perhaps a Johan Santa page?”
You: “This is Noah Syndergaard.”
FSE: “Yes, the SCOUT Leaderboard.”
You: “No, you gave me Noah Syndergaard’s statistics. I wanted blog articles about the SCOUT Leaderboard.”
FSE: “How about Mike Trout? The kids can’t get enough of him these days.”
You: “Okay, maybe you could look for ‘SCOUT Leaderboards.’ You know, with an S.”
FSE: “HAHAHA! What the hell are you even saying? I can’t even understand what you just said. Hahaha! I dunno, I mean, here’s some old Daily Notes articles with SCOUT Leaderboards in them, but I don’t think that’s what you want. But, whatever.”
You: “Yeah. Thanks, I guess.” … “Oh, bummer, I think Carson stopped posting these.”
Bradley writes for FanGraphs and The Hardball Times. Follow him on Twitter @BradleyWoodrum.