Delmon Young’s Best Shape

Recently, NotGraphs’ own Jeremy Blachman drew attention to the “best shape of their lives” cliché that’s bandied about at the onset of every spring training.

Mr. Blachman enlightens us as to what shape a player is when he’s in the best shape of his life, but for some players, their own best shapes — let’s call it their “spirit shapes” — break the mold. One of those players is Delmon Young. His best shape is…

…the shape of The Grimace!

The Grimace is puffy. It is the very embodiment of purple. But, on the whole, The Grimace’s shape is unnameable, expect to say that it is The Grimace-shaped. One young scientist recently suggested that The Grimace itself, in essence, is a trans-fat, so maybe we could say that its shape is that of a trans-fat.

There should be no ambiguity in the connection between Delmon Young and The Grimace, however. Both are former top prospects of sorts — Delmon Young topped Baseball America’s charts in 2006; The Grimace was once thought to be the heir to Ronald McDonald’s goofy-ass crown. Both have had weight issues.

The Grimace, like matter, can be neither created nor destroyed. Now, the same is true for Delmon Young.

No matter what shape Delmon Young is in come training camp, the shape of his spirit will be that of The Grimace.