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In 1910, Franklin Pierce Adams wrote one of the two most famous poems in baseball history. Adams described “Baseball’s Sad Lexicon”, articulating the plight of suffering New York Giants fans. The Giants were doomed to failure, Adams explained, because of the efforts of three slick-fielding infielders on the rival Chicago Cubs: Joe Tinker, Johnny Evers, and Frank Chance.

A century later, baseball boasts a handful of great shortstops and second basemen. Some of those stars own far more impressive resumes than Tinker, Evers, and Chance (three of the least deserving Hall of Fame choices ever, who owe much of their candidacy to Adams’ oeuvre).

Yet despite the amazing resumes of Derek Jeter and other modern middle infielders, no double play combination has had a poem — or anything close — written in its honor in 100 years. This is especially sad in the case of Alan Trammell and Lou Whitaker, arguably the best keystone combo of the past 30 years, given their combination of skill and longevity by each other’s side. If someone had written a great poem about the two Tigers greats, they’d likely be in the Hall of Fame, too.

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Roy Halladay, IRL.

Jon Robinson at ESPN has published a piece on the upcoming video game “MLB 2K11.” An incorporated interview introduces readers to Sean Bailey, MLB 2K11 game designer, and Roy Halladay, MLB 2K11 hood ornament.*

You have to be impressed by the marketing push 2K Sports has been mounting in advance of this game’s release. Consider for example the MLB 2K11 Wikipedia page, which in addition to being pretty much a 2K Sports press release, appears to actually be cut and pasted from a 2K Sports press release. Seriously. It’s written in the first person.

The above ESPN article does reveal one cool tidbit about the game though: improved pitcher worriedness animations.

“Now if you’re throwing a no-hitter, the pitcher is walking around the mound and he’s not looking at or talking to anyone. He just wants the ball back really fast. But if he’s struggling, he will walk around the back of the mound, and you can see the stress build up throughout the game. And these little things, while they don’t change the gameplay, they are the types of things that once they’re tuned right, they make the whole experience feel more real.”

Into the heads of pitchers is EXACTLY where these games need to go.

Here’s why. Baseball, by its questionably thought-out but now accepted rules, puts pitchers, who are normally crazy people, in charge of the game. As a result, baseball is at its best when the heat rises in the mound’s psychological crucible. Think of the moments: Jack Morris, powering through that Game 7, or Roy Halladay, somehow holding focus through a playoff no-hitter. But — Roger Clemens, throwing a bat at little Mikey Piazza, or Pedro Martinez, bodily evaporating on that same mound three years later in the ALCS. It’s like the Roman Colosseum, but the Christians are SPs and LOOGYs, and the lions are ball fours and Texas leaguers.

2K Sports should put more of that in the game.

* ACTUALLY, Mr. Halladay seems to have done a lot of work with the developers.

Last night, the baseball world was rocked by Texas Rangers second baseman shortstop third baseman designated hitter utility man team-leader-who-would-do-anything-to-help-the-team Michael Young’s revelation that he feels “misled and manipulated” by the Rangers’ front office. Young feels that the team has been trying to trade him throughout the off-season while telling him the opposite. Ever the consummate teammate, Young has declined to reveal specific details of exactly what went on behind closed doors. However, in a NotGraphs Exclusive (TM), we have obtained leaked video of what we believe to be Rangers General Manager Jon Daniels finally coming clean with the Face of the Franchise.

It’s hard to make out from the grainy video, but “Brenda” (they are using a bunch of clubhouse nicknames throughout) is obviously Michael Young. “Dylan” is Jon Daniels, even though in the footage he looks to be closer to Nolan Ryan in age. “Kelly” is Adrian Beltre (I’m telling you, you can’t complain about video quality when it’s as earth-shattering as this), although he seems to have gotten over his head thing; at least when “JD” is involved. “Brandon” must be Michael Young’s BFF Vernon Wells.

Despite the quality of the video, everything in the exchanged words and, above all, the evident emotions leave little doubt as to its authenticity. Look out for Michael, Vernon, he’s gonna need it.

Sad Mr. Met is sadly a useful graphic to have around.

The situation with the Mets is starting to look grim.

According to a lawsuit unsealed on Friday, the trustee representing the victims of Bernie Madoff’s ponzi scheme is suing Mets owners Saul Katz and Fred Wilpon for one billion dollars. Being sued for $1 billion is almost always a bad thing. Where does this big, bad, billion-dollar number come from? Read the rest of this entry »

This happened.

There are lists that all of us carry, in our hearts if not our heads, like our personal pantheons of favorite offspring or worst U.S. states or flat-out awesomest baseball players. Most times, there’s no need to spell them out.

But GQ, the magazine, is different from you and me. It’s a magazine, and it needs to publish stuff, so it publishes lists, like the February issue’s 25 Coolest Athletes of All Time. Tim Lincecum is on the list, and I am running — not walking — to say I’m on board with that. Read the rest of this entry »

Name That Mustache!

That mustache is, of course, Robin Yount’s mustache (or is it? see bottom). This is just one in what I can only describe as a fantastic line of baseball t-shirts available at Nike’s website. Although I have to admit that I can’t identify all of the players from their designs, there are a few great ones.

My personal favorites, aside from the obvious Yount shirt, have to be the Mike Schmidt Phillies shirt, the Keith Hernandez Mets shirt, and the Reggie Jackson (glasses included!) Yankees shirt.

Personally, I think this is a great idea, and I would love to see some with more players, both historic and current. A Joe Mauer sideburns t-shirt would be excellent, and a Rollie Fingers t-shirt (A’s or Brewers) seems necessary here. I’m also a big fan of Gorman Thomas’s mustache, but that might be too powerful for one t-shirt to handle.

With only 13 designs already made and only three suggested by myself here, we’re left with what must be endless possibilities. Do you have anybody else you’d like to see added to this line? While I wait for my Robin Yount shirt to get shipped, let me know in the comments section!

EDIT: At first, I didn’t think the curl in the mustache was powerful enough to be Fingers (and I suppose the Brewers yellow of the shirt made me think it was Yount’s blonde mustache). Here are pictures for comparison (looks like it was indeed Fingers).
Fingers:

Yount:

Sometimes, a card just fails on all levels and deserves some constructive criticism. You, you 1973 Topps Steve Garvey, you need a little more… Steve Garvey in there. And maybe some sort of impressive moment would help – a few seconds before or after this moment might have even worked. And you, 1991 Upper Deck Melido Perez, you do realize Perez was an American League Pitcher, right? How about getting your subject to look at the camera while you are at it. See? we can workshop these things like any short story.

The trouble with some past lists that have attempted to collate the worst baseball cards is that they’ve missed the point a little. Silly hair or a bad word on a bat don’t take away from the value of the baseball card – in the case of Billy Ripken’s famous bat, it actually added value to a card that otherwise would not have had any. And interesting hair – bad or good – usually adds to the entertainment value.

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Strat-O-Matic Founder’s Edition box. Drool.

Thanks to this article in USA Today, I recently learned that 2011 is the 50th anniversary of Strat-O-Matic baseball. I also learned that Hal Richman, inventor of the game, located his motivation in a traumatic childhood:

“At the age of 6, I was told I would never make the majors. I couldn’t even make my high school basketball team that was winless. I loved sports, but I wasn’t that good. So I made my own game.”

Who tells a 6 year old they’ll never make the majors? Yikes.

Also, if you’re in New York on February 12th and have the time/inclination/self-assuredness to do so, you can celebrate Strat-O-Matic’s half-century of blissful distraction at a free party in midtown. It looks like you do need to register if you plan to attend. Wielder of 1,000 velvet pens Doug Glanville will be there!

Available for special preorder and pickup at the anniversary event is something called “Strat-O-Matic Baseball Founder’s Edition:”

“Strat-O-Matic Baseball Founder’s Edition is an exact replica of the first ever published, original Strat-O-Matic Baseball game that was originally produced in 1961. It contains all 80 player cards from the 1960 season, game parts and identically designed game box.”

I have never played Strat-O-Matic, but I’ve long wanted to. This Founder’s Edition set might be the perfect place to start.

This is a couple of months old (then again, so am I), but it absolutely merits a mention.

Tim Lincecum, who is awesome in a bounty of ways, already has a pair of Cy Young awards placed carefully atop his custom-made oaken mantle — a mantle from the Prestige Collection, no doubt — a World Series ring on his finger and, I assume, a championship belt around his waist. Now comes the most impressive laurel of all. Lincecum, because of his alleged zeal for sweet, sweet herb, has been named Top Celeb Stoner by, fittingly, CelebStoner.com. Please behold the last two paragraphs of the announcement:

Known as “The Freak,” for his long black hair and wiry 5-11, 170-poind build, Lincecum is a phenomenon – a gifted athlete who chooses to use marijuana (except for when he’s getting drug tested).

Fun Facts: Lincecum has a French Bulldog named Cy. His mother is Filipino. He’s single.

“If God didn’t want us to smoke doobage,” Lincecum said upon receiving the award, “then he wouldn’t have invented Foghat and detached garages.”

Actually, Lincecum didn’t say that. James Madison said that.

Not just pizza. “Apizza.”

Be honest — you probably don’t think of Seattle sports fans as “fortunate human beings.” Well, maybe that changes today, when you learn about the revamped food offerings at Safeco Field.

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