The following tweet is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):

The following tweet is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):

The following tweet is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):

The following tweet is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):

Early reporting on the Geovany Soto and Reed Johnson deals came from eyewitness reports of… hugging. The players hugged each other as they said their goodbyes, and a meme was born:

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First, the scene-setting Tweet:

And now the urgent query …

Hot Internet call-to-action poll served up hot.

The following tweet is entirely and in-no-way altered from the original (click to embiggen):

The Cubs have given something away. What they’ve actually given away is of little consequence to the present author and, I’m guessing, the present reader.

No, our concern is for what the Cubs could have — or should have — given away. Like a black-market kidney, perhaps. Or a baby prostitute, maybe. Or, as Dayn Perry will have suggested on his next podcast appearance (available later Friday, maybe, or Saturday), the withered remains of Colonel Sanders.

In this life, we’ve all got questions, the answers to which elude us. Sometimes, when — presumably — we’ve got nowhere else to turn, we need to ask athletes — in this case professional Major League Baseball center fielder Andrew McCutchen — these questions. Perhaps they have the answers, and would be willing to share them with us. Sometimes on this journey, we all need some guidance; a little direction.

Recently, a gentleman named Rocky Ord found himself in that position, a child along the way, his life about to change.

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The internet giveth, and the internet… giveth even harder: