Like all great correspondences — the famous one between John and Abigail Adams, for example, and the other famous one between noted 20th century pop sensations Milli and Vanilli — my own correspondence with my friend Ross will someday become the object of much literary interest in this country and abroad.

While the frenzied masses will have to wait for its publication (i.e. the aforementioned correspondence’s) until just after my own death, an excerpt from one of Ross’s recent electronic letters is suitable for blockquoting in these pages.

Ross writes (or wrote, seven days ago, I should say):

On another note, hunt down recent highlights of Edwin Encarnacion stroking a dongpiece (he did so in today’s matinee game at Milwaukee, so you can see fresh evidence on mlb.com). Notice that every time he’s shown rounding 1st, he is carrying his right arm in what might be described as a palsied t-rex pose. He seems to do this invariably.

Like any gentleman of taste, I need only hear the phrase “palsied t-rex pose” once to have my curiosity piqued duly.

Abiding by said curiosity, I not only sought out some representative clips of Edwin Encarnacion, but then proceeded to render those clips into GIF form for the enjoyment of at least 10 or 12 people, as follows.

From June 20th, at Milwaukee:

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Readers of a certain age will remember the righteous indignation they felt when so-called “sensei” John Kreese of the Cobra Kai dojo ordered star pupil Johnny Lawrence to “sweep the leg” of already injured protagonist Daniel LaRusso in the denoument of 1984’s Karate Kid. Those same readers will remember the overwhelming sense of justice they experienced just moments later when LaRusso performed the crane-kick maneuver captured in GIF-form above to win first place in the All Valley Karate Tournament.

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Arkansas sophomore right-hander and likely top 2013 draftee Ryne Stanek pitched against, and beat, two-time reigning champions South Carolina on Monday night in a winners’ bracket game of the College Word Series (box).

As Stanek’s 3:3 K:BB for the game suggests, he wasn’t dominant in the strictest sense; however, as the following steaming-hot GIFs make clear, Stanek’s slider isn’t the thing holding him back from total domination of both/either opposing hitters and/or the whole world.

The reader is invited to use the following GIFs as a potent aphrodisiac with a view to the end of sweet, sweet lovemaking.

Third Inning vs. Catcher Dante Rosenberg

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Abhorrence of Abhorrences lurking behind the potted palm, Brian McCann sees you. If it’s any consolation, Abhorrence of Abhorrences, you are absolutely as mortifying as you think you are. At least to the quaking likes of Brian McCann …

Know this, Brian McCann: whatever you have seen is absolutely not as scared of you as you are of it.

(Thanks to MockSession for the initial image and, thus, the walking tour of the abyss.)

Today, I would like to thank Austin Kearns for deflecting a ground ball in the bottom of the second inning last Saturday. Thank you, Austin Kearns; thank you for not standing and jogging, but instead crawling like a mewing kitten to the dribbling-yonder ball.

Here’s a poem to commemorate the occasion:

A spreading expanse of clay
separates you and I.
The easy bred error,
and for the thinnest of moments,

the sport and I have fallen into disrepute
as I mime a kitten in my scrambling commute.

        I pounce.

Hat tip to my buddy, the most Jason of Collettes.

Last night, Brewers infielder Taylor Green hit his first major league homerun.

Green’s current Brewers teammate (and longtime minor league teammate) catcher Martin Maldonado — who also recently hit his first big league homer — was, maybe, very excited for Green:

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The baseball cleared the right field fence at U.S. Cellular Field on the South Side of Chicago, past the outstretched glove of Alex Rios, and landed in the Toronto Blue Jays bullpen for a two-run home run. Colby Rasmus did what he always does: Not smile. He had business to take care of, a couple of bases to round. This is about as close as Rasmus got, even after a career night: a five-for-five performance, one that saw his wOBA rise from .304 to .326, and his wRC+ rise from 89 to 104, on the season.

Rasmus is stoic. The polar opposite of his fellow high-ceilinged teammate Brett Lawrie. And it’s been a study in contrast to watch the two of them play baseball on a day-to-day basis.

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From the American version of the 1986 video for same.

The thing is, you can’t even be mad at Ron Washington. It was 14-1. And, let’s face it, Ron Washington can dance. Better than most. Actually, Ron Washington needs to dance. And what better way to celebrate a very effective seven and a third innings from Derek Holland than with a little jig? A little Ron Washington two-step? The key, Ron Washington says, is to get your shoulders and ass into it. Let the rhythm do the work. Friday nights, Ron Washington was told time and time again growing up, were made for dancing.

The dance stops abruptly, and Ron Washington continues on his way. He’s got business to attend to. Just another day in the life of Ron Washington. Derek Holland? He enjoyed the show.

H/T: Adam of @lonestarball fame. If you’re ever in Toronto, Adam, I’ll take you dancing.

That thing that you’re doing? Right now in presumed secret? Indians manager Manny Acta senses that you’re doing that very thing, and, if truth be told, he would like you to stop it right now …

It’s fine. Manny Acta did things like that at your age, too (albeit without such an “artisan’s attention to craft” about the whole thing). But just don’t do that again. At least not when Manny Acta is trying to have an adult conversation.

Actually, the more Manny Acta thinks about it, the more he believes that you should be utterly ashamed of yourself. What the hell, kid? In front of everyone …