Archive for Audio and/or Visual

By definition, advertising is designed to produce within the consumer irrational and positive feelings for the goods or services being advertised. It’s largely because of advertising, for example — and brand creation, generally — that my wife has recently informed me her next computer will be a Mac, despite the fact that (a) she’s incapable of articulating the actual technical differences between Macs and PCs and (b) we definitely cannot afford one of those things. She “prefers” Macs, is what she tells me. I, for my part, prefer large-bosomed American socialites. We can’t, in this life, have everything we want.

And yet, the advertising community is also populated by a number of talented people — including, specifically, members of American advertising firm Copacino+Fujikado, who have been responsible for the Seattle Mariners’ TV commercials since 1996.

The firm recently (it seems) released five new ads for the 2012 season. They appear below, sans comment.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Happiness is a sad song.” -Charles M. Schultz

Major League Baseball tried out “open mics” during yesterday’s Indians-Diamondbacks spring game, and with it, the beautiful and gentle beast that some call “Jason Kipnis” has unleashed his inner Adele. See, joy:

Read the rest of this entry »

As you can see, courtesy of WEEI.com’s Full Count blog, not only does Bobby Valentine “get down,” but Bobby Valentine “gets down” while wearing the pinkest pink shirt that’s ever existed. (Do not look directly at it.) That’s just how he rolls. And I have to admit, I dig it.

And then, just when I thought I couldn’t possibly respect Valentine any more, I found what you’re about to enjoy, below: Bobby Valentine dancing his ass off in a Japanese music video:

Oh, those Japanese. Now, I still don’t know what the hell to make of that, what we just saw, but what I do know is that, even though I hate the Boston Red Sox with an incredible passion, I’m glad Bobby V’s back on this side of the pond, and in the spotlight. Valentine’s riling up the Yankees, Jeter and A-Rod, and taking shots at Tito; ask yourself: are you not entertained? It’s going to be a wild ride in Boston, and I can’t wait. May Valentine forever dance, and forever manage, as if nobody’s watching.

“It was our church. It was our heaven. It was everything.”
— Bill Kent, President, New York Baseball Giants Nostalgia Society

I’ve had the pleasure, in my 29 years on this planet, of watching Major League Baseball in each of the 30 cities the beautiful game is played. I’ve seen many a stadia. But it’s a damn shame I’ll never get to see Polo Grounds.

H/T: My man @mighty_flynn.

If Batting Stance Guy thought his job was safe, he was wrong; he’s got company. Witness:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s983TpLdTdU

J.P. Arencibia’s OBP leaves a lot to be desired, there’s no doubt, but he brings the laughs. And, sometimes, that’s enough. I’m with Tito: I hope JPA wins the MVP.

H/Ts: The one and only Buster Olney, and the equally one and only Emma Span.

I may have only known Bill Petti for a couple of days — mostly because I thought both he and Justin Bopp were named “Justin Bopp” — but I can tell you for certain: He is the most handsome male FanGraphs writer of the year.

Behold, his moments of glory on FanGraphs Clubhouse Confidential:

More thoughts below.
Read the rest of this entry »

Without question or doubtless doubt, you’ve been waiting, breath bated, for the next episode of “The World According to Gross.” On this point, I have wonderful news: the next episode of “The World According to Gross” is embedded below, and the subject, it so happens, is the sport that binds us …

Some observations regarding the multitudes to which we have borne awed witness:

0:15 – That’s a fake voice.

0:29 – The man who murdered Mr. Gross with a cargo hook and, under cover of darkness, buried him in a shallow grave has just entered the frame.

0:49 – Dámaso García!

0:59 – Ol’ Hard Luck Stieb!

1:28 – Mr. Gross is lying to Julie from “The Love Boat.”

1:30 – Mr. Gross is going to have sex with Julie from “The Love Boat.”

1:50 – The people, they barely care.

2:02 – The young man in the striped shirt sports a haircut, one rarely seen in captivity, that connoisseurs call “The Inundation.”

2:08 – You are witnessing a young lady paralyzed by the bedroomy musk of a local television-news personality.

2:29 – That’s a fake voice.

So what have I missed?

I participated in my first ottoneu fantasy draft this past Sunday and Tuesday with various other members of the Fangraphs Illuminati, including my inimitable Notgraphs compatriot Robert J. Baumann. You can look at the list of transactions from our draft here, and both our commissioner Chad Young and Steve Slowinski have written intelligently about the draft over at Rotographs. I would like to write about the draft as well, but since I am not really a fantasy baseball expert, no one would or should trust my opinions about the draft. Nor would any of you probably care to read about my feelings regarding how I thought I’d be able to nab my main man Jason Heyward for like fifteen dollars and instead he went for TWENTY SEVEN (they are, in short: F%#^#%^)IREGJKDFG.)

What I AM an expert on — and what, to my great surprise, people seem to still be willing to listen to me talk about — are elaborate metaphors related to baseball that are really about something else entirely. Or, is it the other way around? In any case, I have long been of the mind that building a fantasy roster is about much more than simply getting the best deals and assembling a winning team — a mindset which has probably at least partially contributed to my fantasy efforts being mostly not all that successful, wherein success is measured by “winning.”
Read the rest of this entry »

Over the long weekend, I visited YouTube.com and typed “Dick Allen” into the search box. I think it’s important for you to know that the Dick Allen Research Department lives up to its name. Here’s what I found:

Now, I don’t know about you, but that was the first, actual, in-game footage of Dick Allen I’d ever witnessed. And I couldn’t have picked a better video. I’ll always remember my first time.

He fires a breaking pitch, but Allen connects solidly, and there it goes! It’s way, way back! It’s a home run! A 400-footer that sails into the bleachers in deep right-center. Now that pitch was in a perfect spot, low and outside, and it’s a tribute to Allen’s great strength that he could slam a pitch like that such a tremendous distance.

Indeed. Dick Allen, y’all.

Well done, Kid.