Bill Petti, Your Next Dark Overlord

I may have only known Bill Petti for a couple of days — mostly because I thought both he and Justin Bopp were named “Justin Bopp” — but I can tell you for certain: He is the most handsome male FanGraphs writer of the year.

Behold, his moments of glory on FanGraphs Clubhouse Confidential:

More thoughts below.

One of the most important elements of the clip is the ever-entrancing background activity:

Lady Describes How a Plane Lands:

Annoying/Creepy Geico Spokeswoman:

The Word PHILADELPHIA Frosted Into a Glass in a Segment Featuring Almost Entirely METS-ONLY News:

Kernel Stuck Betwixt Molars, or Clandestine Nose Pick? (4:25 — tell me what you think)

But hey, how ’bout that blinking!?