It’s Joe West!

Communism, you’re outta here!

If you don’t know what Sporcle is, you clearly don’t know how to waste time on the internet. Just in case, for the uninitiated (read: those who use their time effectively), Sporcle is a website with a vast array of quizzes, ranging from “U.S. Presidents” to “Can you name the things Meat Loaf won’t do for love“.

So, for those of you who need to pass some time this afternoon (seriously, like you’re going to do any work), I challenge you to take me on in a Sporcle. I found this one thanks to The Common Man over at ESPN. The quiz presents 20 player graphs with various different statistics, and you have to guess the player from the graph. I managed to correctly guess 18 of 20. Can you beat me? Click here to try.

No, you don’t get anything for beating me. Also, just to be courteous, try not to spoil it in the comments!

Jeff Schultz of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution caught up with Chipper Jones today, and he wasn’t terribly happy, particularly with some denizens of the lowest floor of houses owned by their mothers.

“I still feel like I have something to offer, and the cynical fan can really kiss my ass. I really don’t care. There’s a bunch of true fans and the people who actually want to take the time to get to know me know who I am. The guy who sits in his mom’s basement and types on his mom’s computer, I couldn’t really care less about.”

Hey, Chipper. I lease the basement I live in, thank you very much.

And given my basement-leasing situation and recent support of Chipper Jones’s continued baseball career, I resent that. But hey, if Chipper needs an imagined enemy to get through his 18th Major League season, I’m perfectly willing to play that role.

(Hat tip to Dustin Parkes at The Score)

I… I don’t even know… which is which? My whole world is turned upside down!

In case you haven’t watched SportsCenter anytime since last March, the guy on the left is Jimmer Fredette, and he is very good at college basketball. Fredette, a 6’2″ shooting guard from New York, has pushed Brigham Young University’s basketball team into national relevance thanks mostly to his pinpoint shooting from anywhere on the court. And, like Friedman, Fredette comes from a Jewish family.

That’s about where the similarities between Fredette and Andrew Friedman, pictured on the right, end. Friedman has, like Fredette, shown himself to be excellent at his craft, building a contender out of spare parts in one of the smallest and least lucrative markets in the league. However, Friedman certainly can’t play basketball, at least if Joe Maddon is telling the truth. Via Jayson Stark (insider subscription needed for full article):

“I watched Andrew deke [Rays assistant minor league director] Chaim Bloom,” Maddon reported. “He got Chaimer in the air. Went around him. Free layup. And missed everything. No rim. No nothing. Air ball. Over everything. That’s what I saw. I don’t think it was too windy, either. Calm winds. Great fake. Clear path. No iron.”

Ouch. Jimmer is likely to get drafted in the first round of next year’s NBA Draft. Friedman might be lucky not to be the last pick in the Rays’ front office basketball games going forward.

Mexicutioner no longer.

Let’s go straight to Bob Dutton of the Kansas City Star:

It came as a request sent out on his Twitter account that asked – asked not demanded – that everyone stop referring to him as the Mexicutioner:

“How about we change my nickname to something positive? In support to Mexico to stop all the violence!!!”

Soria, 26, has always been proud of his Mexican heritage. It marked a proud moment in his career, which includes two All-Star selections, when he became the all-time leader in saves by a Mexican-born player.

Of course, I can totally understand where Soria is coming from here. One’s cultural heritage can be very close to one’s heart, and given the dark gang and drug related violence seen in Mexico recently, it’s clear why Soria would like separate the idea of an executioner from his own Mexican heritage.

On the other hand, the nickname “Mexicutioner” is really, really awesome.

So, there are two options. Maybe we could try and find a new nickname for Soria, but I can’t imagine anything can top Mexicutioner. If you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them, but I’m drawing blanks (I don’t think I watch the Royals enough to capture something that their fans would identify with).

The other option, as Soria suggests later in the above-linked Star article, is that we could just call him by his name. At this point, Soria has established himself as one of the best closers in the game, and maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t even need a nickname. Who else in baseball has earned the first-name Joakim as an identifying mark? I think Soria is more than good enough to warrant the first name treatment, and the Mexicutioner nickname can be honorably retired.

Jason Kendall rules the indie scene.

In case you missed it, Jason Kendall had one of the oddest meltdowns in Spring Training interview history on Monday. Will McDonald, as always, breaks it down in expert fashion over at Royals Review, which you should definitely check out. The money moment comes when Jason Kendall implores Nick Wright, who was interviewing hot prospect Mike Moustakas, to “rewind yourself.”

As I was reading the comments section at said Royals Review piece, I couldn’t help but be inspired by the suggestion by a few people that “rewind yourself” would make a fantastic album title. And thus, the album cover above was born. Check out the track listing, too:
1. Leader
2. The Ballad of Dave Kerwin
3. Grit
4. All The Adders
5. Scrap
6. Ground Out
7. No Rest For The Bad (At Baseball)
8. Ground Out (Reprise)

With such a monster track list on his very first foray into the music business, there’s no question that Jason will have a long career in the music industry after his playing days are over.

The Diamondbacks will wear these ancient uniforms for three days next season.

Via MLB.com:

The Arizona Diamondbacks will turn back the clock Sept. 9-11 when they officially celebrate the 10th anniversary of the club’s World Series championship with the “2001 World Championship Reunion Weekend.”

The weekend will begin with the D-backs wearing throwback jerseys for the Sept. 9 game against the Padres. The club will wear the traditional home white top with purple pinstripes and the “A” logo. That was one of the uniform tops the club wore from 1998 through 2006, when its color scheme was purple, turquoise, copper and black. In 2007, the team switched to its current color scheme of sedona red, sonoran sand and black.

Seeing this bit of news made me think of two things.

First off, we never really acknowledge just how insane it is that the Diamondbacks won a World Series in their fourth year of existence. My Brewers took 13 seasons just to reach a World Series and haven’t been back since. The Rangers just made their first World Series in their 51st season of existence (including their time as the second Washington Senators). It took the Arizona Diamondbacks all of three seasons from their very first game to bring home the Commissioner’s Trophy, an accomplishment we may never see again in professional sports.

On a second note, how bad were those first Diamondbacks jerseys? Green pinstripes with purple undershirts? The fact that the Diamondbacks have to use throwbacks for those jerseys – jerseys a youngster like myself can actually remember seeing a team play in on TV – really tells us how bad they were. The Diamondbacks only used them for nine seasons before realizing a redesign was completely and totally necessary. Now, I think the Diamondbacks have one of the better color/uniform combinations in the game. Back then? It was an interesting attempt at reproducing the look of the Diamondback, but in the end, these uniforms deserved their early retirement.

Click to embiggen

This screencap was taken a full two nights ago.. Now, of course, only mere minutes remain until Albert Pujols’s self-made contract deadline. Will Albert stay in St. Louis? Will he bolt for Chicago? Los Angeles? Maybe… no… not New York?!

The clock is ticking. Mang.

The Dodgers want you (yes, you!) to decide which throwback uniform they wear on six throwback jersey days over the 2011 season. These jerseys hearken back to the days in which the Dodgers resided in Brooklyn, first as the Superbas and then as the Brooklyn Dodgers. Here’s how I would rank the three choices.

#3: Brooklyn Superbas 1911 Road Uniforms

For the record, I like all three of these. This just happens to be the one I like the least. I have a feeling that the “Brooklyn” on the button panel will be difficult to see, particularly on TV. The pinstriped look is solid, and I love the stirrups. The hat lacks the flair that the Brooklyn Dodgers logo had. Unfortunately, the Brooklyn on the button panel just really doesn’t do it for me.

#2: Brooklyn Dodgers 1940s Road Uniform

The colored look would be an odd choice to wear at home, but I have to say I personally dig the powder blue, if even some are tired of it. I especially like the fact that the uniform is monochrome instead of going with white or grey pants. The Brooklyn script is classic and the uniform is simple, although I could do without the white outline on the shoulders.

#1: Brooklyn Dodgers 1931 Road Uniforms

Powder blue again, but this time as a secondary color to the primary white. I love the “B” on the chest, similar to one of my favorite alternate jerseys in the game. I’m usually not huge on white hats, either – I thought that many of the patriotic hats from this year looked disastrous – but with the powder blue brim as well as the navy trim and the classic Brooklyn “B” logo, it works here. The only real problem I see with these jerseys is the red trim on the socks, but that’s pretty minor and might even be covered up depending on how the players wear the uniforms.

Really, it’s a toss-up for me between the 1940s uniform and the 1931 uniform, but the uniqueness of the 1931 jersey convinced me to throw my vote that way.