Dear Abby,

Eager Man in Eagan, MN

Read the rest of this entry »

Breaking down MLB.com’s recently released list…

HUMAN… 94
ALIEN… 6

GENETICALLY MALE… 92
GENETICALLY FEMALE… 8

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t know why I liked reading this as much as I did:

When the Washington Nationals agreed to terms with one of the top prizes of the MLB offseason, signing closer Rafael Soriano to a two-year deal, it caught nearly everyone in the baseball world by surprise.

…

Storen saw the news online and immediately called his good friend and roommate, Tyler Clippard, who happens to be the other closer the team already had in the fold.

“I just saw it on Twitter and I called him and I said, ‘have you seen this?’ We were like, ‘what?’”

The conversation was short and speculative as neither player really had a lot of information about the signing, they knew as much as anyone else.
(Source)

I mean, it’s easy to forget that baseball players are real people. But stuff like this is a reminder that, sure, they are. You read some crazy news on Twitter that impacts your life, you totally pick up the phone and call a friend. I have no larger point to make, just that reading this makes me like Storen and Clippard. That is all.

Frank Thomas has always maintained he never took steroids and for the most part, he’s been one of the few sluggers from the steroid era who is believed to be clean. Wednesday, in an interview on 670 The Score’s Boers & Bernstein Show, Thomas said he “had no idea” steroids were being used as much as they were. “I’ll be honest with you. It was a secret society,” Thomas said. “I had no idea.”
— CBS Chicago

and

US President George W. Bush discussed Iraq, the November elections and the war on terrorism in an interview broadcast Sunday [Feb. 8, 2004] but laughingly stonewalled a question about his university secret society. “It’s so secret, we can’t talk about it,” he told NBC television when asked about the fact that both he and the Democratic frontrunner, Senator John Kerry, are members of Yale University’s Skull and Bones.

Logical conclusion: George Bush and John Kerry used steroids.

“Cincinnati will get baseball’s All-Star Game in 2015”
— USA TODAY

Future All-Star Game Locations:

2016: Baltimore
2017: San Diego
2018: Monterrey
2019: Northern New Jersey
2020: California Island
2021: New Beijing
2022: Old Beijing
2023: Melted North Pole
2024: LOL Tweetville
2025: Moon East
2026: Moon West
2027: !%!
2028: [unintelligible alien squawking sound #416]
2029: [unintelligible alien squawking sound #627]
2030: Miami

1. Bily Butler
2. Aaron Hil
3. Tod Helton
4. Clif Floyd
5. Adam Dun
6. Brandon Wod
7. Shin-So Cho
8. Aron Bone

[Photo: Actual Crowd @ Rays Game]

Just wanted to follow up on Dayn’s post this morning about the Pope taking batting practice. Here is a rabbi throwing out a first pitch, to be caught by a bird that will almost certainly not be slaughtered to meet the standards of Kashrut. Highlight: the stadium organ playing Hava Nagila.

(Apologies that for the first 6 minutes this post was up, there was no video. YouTube link embedding whoops on my part.)

Craig Calcaterra and his colleagues over at NBC have once again been collecting mentions of ballplayers claiming to be in the “best shape of their lives” — Javier Vazquez, Neil Walker, Hanley Ramirez, CC Sabathia so far this offseason.

It has me asking the obvious question… what shape is someone in when they’re in the best shape of their life?

And the answer, I’ve decided… is octagon.