Table of Contents

Here’s the table of contents for Daily Dotes, March 20th edition, in which there is some serious dotage in the “to bestow excessive love or fondness on” sense.

1. Everyone’s New Favorite Jack Kerouac, Evan Gattis
2. Everyone’s Favorite Nick Offerman Fan, Brandon McCarthy
3. Everyone’s Favorite Gnome, Vincent Belnome

Everyone’s New Favorite Jack Kerouac, Evan Gattis

Gattis will begin the year at Class AA Mississippi. (Photo: Tony Farlow/MiLB.com)

I was pretty stoked when my copy of Baseball America’s Prospect Handbook 2012 arrived in the mail in February. I was probably more stoked when, two weeks later, I read the entry on Atlanta Braves catching prospect Evan Gattis.

Though a lowly #27 on the team’s Top 30 list, Gattis posted a .427 wOBA with Atlanta’s Class A affiliate in 2011 by crushing 48 XBH (22 HR) in just 377 PA. That, of course, becomes much less impressive when you notice that 2011 was his age 24 season.

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Table of Contents

Here’s the table of contents for today’s edition of Daily Dotes.

1. “Dote” Defined
2. Santorum takes his cuts.
3. Garfoosian Wisdom

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Because not all men are Dayn Perry, the world is less drunk beautiful than it could be.

Because I am not Dayn Perry, I could not post about the Miami Marlins theme song that is not the Miami Marlins’ theme song fast enough. (Hat tip to NotGraphs reader Jackson, nonetheless.) So now, I have to ride Mr. Perry’s coattails.

If, after reading Dayn’s post and consuming the aforementioned tuneage, you neglected to explore the array of similar videos suggested by YouTube, you missed some gems.

One such video, presumably directed by Michael Bay and produced by Daktronics Creative Services “to help unveil the new logo for the Miami Marlins . . . played at the first ever event at [the Marlins’] new stadium on November 11, 2011. It was a special event for the media, city and county officials as VIPs of the team introduced the stadium, the new logo, the name change and the look of their new uniforms.”

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Tommy Lasorda, brief and awful Major League pitcher, legendary former manager of the Los Angeles Dodgers, godfather to Mike Piazza’s younger brother and to Alex Avila, recipient of all sorts of honorary positions, current “Goodwill Ambassador” (read: Walmart Greeter) for Major League Baseball (despite a history of amazing, amazing profane tirades), and still a perennial presence at Dodgers’ spring camp, is going to turn 85(!) this year.

In his twilight, he has embraced Twitter. Surprisingly, his tweets are cogent and even integrate a full range of hashtags, @’s, links, and pics. He interacts with fans and young players alike, and he’s not at all curmudgeonly or haughty about his success (though he doesn’t hesitate to post office-poster-worthy phrases of disgusting optimism that all seem to vary only slightly from “If you think you are a winner then you will be a winner”). I’m not sure if someone is ghost-tweeting or maintaining his MLBlog for him, but given that both media are updated pretty often and that many of his tweets are about food, I’m willing to give Tommy himself full credit.

I’d like, also, to give Tommy full credit for living with great vigor, eating until his arms are tired and tucking in his jersey to his uniform pants like it’s a good idea. He denies the grip of death so audaciously that he is able to assume that a man fifteen years younger than him is dead:

It has come to my attention that Jimmy Wynn is not dead. Sorry for the error. Hey, not even Babe Ruth batted 1.000.

— Tommy Lasorda (@TommyLasorda) March 12, 2012

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March is fantasy baseball season, and in it, most of our evenings and weekends will be filled with drafts and auctions or prepping for said. If you’re just beginning to incorporate a sabermetric bent to your fantasy preparations (i.e. if you haven’t moved on to Fantasy Fantasy Baseball), sorting through the copious stats that are now widely available can be frustrating. You want to know which stats are most predictive of future performance, and which are red herrings, but you don’t know your wOBAs from your U.N.I.T.Y.s.

Fortunately for the beginners out there, I’m here to give you a cheat sheet on which stats are overrated, and to explain, with great clarity and exactitude (not to be confused with “Natitude“) why they are overrated.

Batting Average (AVG)

I’ll just leave this first one to everyone’s sabermatrician, Joe Morgan:

A good hitter makes sure no men are on base when he makes an out — even if that means killing all baserunners before a plate appearance.

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 . . . and What Are They Ready For

Matt Moore, LHP, Tampa Bay Rays

Moore has plus-plus make-up, which means he should be ready to fill the Guy Smiley void in MLB that has gone unfilled for too long now. Most scouts believe that his days of pouting like a toddler are over, and he’s now committed to his teammates, as evidenced by his pledge to keep David Price’s car safe from hobo urine.

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Since I covered all the heavy-hitting stuff in yesterday’s post, how’s about we finish this series off with some fun quickies:

Great Moments in Baseball Accessories

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In the first two parts of this series, we looked at mainly superficial things: hair, beards and mustaches, players that might have contributed to contemporary hipster trends, hats, spectacles, and one fine tush.

Today, because NotGraphs readership is comprised of sensitive, intelligent people who prefer to take a humanistic approach, and because many of the player photos featured in the 1986 Topps sets are so candid that they often provide great insight into players’ demeanors or preoccupations — their very souls, even — I’d like to explore a more personal side of the players appearing in these cards.

Here are some psychological themes that emerged as I examined the sets.
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The 1986 Topps and Topps Traded sets, for all of their poor design and photography, do capture some pretty awesome aesthetic moments — at least as far as we can expect from the 1980s. My post yesterday featured some Great Moments in Coiffure, but that was just the beginning: there are plenty of other style tips to be gleaned. Behold! (All pics embiggenable, as per the us’.)

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The 1986 Topps sets are full of strange images: poor lighting, bad angles, unsuspecting subjects, compromising poses, greasy faces. Often, the players appear steeped in the awkwardness of adolescence, and the photographers, equally awkward in their amateurishness, seem to have snapped off unconsidered shots with disposable cameras.

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