AL MVP: It’s Not What You’re Like…

For certain cultural nerds (many of whom troll/write for this very Internet), John Cusack nailed it on the head when, playing Rob Gordon in the 2000 film High Fidelity, he said, “It’s not what you’re like, it’s what you like.”

…

The 2012 AL MVP question might be a tough one (not if you use WAR, of course). Miguel Cabrera, or Mike Trout?

For those of you who grow tired of the statistical debate, or the boring sparring between those who heavily consider the success of an MVP-candidate’s team and those who discount team — or any of the other tired debates, NotGraphs, as ever, presents “stats” of a different variety. Let’s put these two superstars on the same level as the rest of us, and judge them superficially — i.e. as consumers of culture and free Doritos Locos Tacos™.

MIGUEL CABRERA
Favorite Musical Artist: Prince
Last Album Listened To: A Game of Thrones book on CD
Favorite Movie: Cool Hand Luke
Favorite Food: Doritos Locos Tacos™
Favorite TV Show: Cheers
Favorite Cartoon Character: tie between Jigglypuff and Strong Sad
Favorite Actor: Greta Gerwig
Where He Buys His Clothes: Christmas presents from Mom
Hero: George Romero & Mother Theresa
Favorite Author: Malcolm Gladwell

MIKE TROUT
Favorite Musical Artist: Bruce Springsteen
Last Album Listened To: Small Business by Titus Andronicus
Favorite Movie: Days of Heaven
Favorite Food: grilled tilapia
Favorite TV Show: The Wire
Favorite Cartoon Character: Homestar Runner
Favorite Actor: George Clooney
Where He Buys His Clothes: Christmas presents from Mom/GF
Hero: Bill James
Favorite Author: Neil Gaiman

So there you have it! Not nearly as dull as I would have imagined. Now you can judge them on a purely aesthetic, subjective basis. No one is right!