In the first installment of the new series A GIF and a Tune, we look at Ben Revere whilst listening to the final movement of Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto No. 3.
Watch:
Listen:
This has been A GIF and a Tune.
It was just a few days ago that we asked, “What Was Your Slash, Nerd?” The results are in. The average NotGraphs slash?
.275/.400/.403
And if we remove the accidental repeat entries, the oh-so-clever “bradley woodrum’s butthole” entries, the incomplete entries, and the obvious lie entries, we get a more believable, but not-too-different:
.252/.393/.376
All walks, little power? I believe it.
Today, let’s give the pitchers a look. So be honest, give us your best recollection of your high-school-and-higher numbers. No slow-pitch softball, please:
Some five-thousand two-hundred and eight feet above sea level, a scene of utter despair played out Tuesday night. Tens, possibly hundreds, had the misfortune to see it with their own eyes.
Officially, 20,239 people saw the Rockies and the Mets play in 36 degree weather at Coors Field. Unofficially, well, you tell me:
As error after error piled up — five, in all — and the game ran into hours three, four and eventually five, the declining mood of the freezing crowd noticeably declined. And understandably so — Coors Field was a brisk 36 degrees at game time and was only getting colder.
But there’s Dinger, the Rockies’ persistent mascot. “Dinger has been the Colorado Rockies biggest fan since he first hatched from his egg at Mile High Stadium on April 16, 1994,” the Rockies’ site claims. And indeed, there’s Dinger, jumping and cheering a tenth-inning walk as the rest of the fans selfishly shield themselves from the elements.
I salute you, Dinger. Just keep doing you.
The author — because he studied the relevant martial art as a five-year-old in the basement of a Concord-area* travel agency — knows that the karateka never uses his training to initiate combat, but only to defend himself.
*Concord, New Hampshire (i.e. where all the best dojos are located).
As the footage embedded here suggests, however, that precept has been problematized today by Kansas City shortstop Alcides Escobar — who, as anyone with eyes can see, is very clearly karate-chopping his own self.
Indeed, it’s not outside the realm of the possible that Escobar is making a subtle, if important, point: it is the individual’s own ego, ambition, and desire which are his greatest enemies, not the buffoons of a martial-arts film or evil Cobra Kai sensei John Kreese.
When Lawrie met Kawasaki.
During the offseason, the Blue Jays acquired Jose Reyes, a four-time all-star with a batting title on his résumé; Mark Buehrle, who’s thrown a no-hitter and a perfect game, and 12 consecutive 200-innings seasons; Josh Johnson, a two-time all-star who’s struck out over 20 percent of the batters he’s ever faced; Melky Cabrera, an all-star game MVP with a, uh, checkered past; and R.A. Dickey, arguably the greatest human being alive, who with his magical knuckleball struck out 230 batters last year, and won the Cy Young.
Yet on Monday and Tuesday nights at the Dome, it was Munenori Kawasaki – signed to a minor-league contract in early March, and called up from Triple-A Buffalo to replace the injured Reyes – who was being feted by the crowd, with chants of “KA-WA-SA-KI! – Clap, Clap, ClapClapClap!”
1.) Search for Juan Francisco on Google.
2.) Click on ‘image search.’
Franklin Rabon is a master of confusionism.
Friends, relations, and especially baseball fans: For all your informational quick-fixes, please disregard Wikipedia or any other websource. Henceforth, consult only Rickeypedia: The Rickey Encyclopedia.
Please embiggen so as not to strain your eyes.
Precise.
A sketch by Emerson of Max Scherzer’s changeup.
The NotGraphs Archival Research Team, in conjunction with the Ralph Waldo Emerson Society, has uncovered today the following — what appears (unbelievably) to be a scouting report, from Emerson’s notebooks, of Detroit right-hander Max Scherzer.
Improbably, the report seems to have been written in the early 1830s — not only ca. 150 years before Scherzer’s birth, but also about 10-15 years before Alexander Cartwright published the rules of what has become the modern game.
The language used by Emerson bears a close resemblance to that which he would use a short time later, in his first and long essay Nature.
Note that, as no specific pitch types had been developed yet, the present author has been compelled to derive same from context. (Although, it should be noted that we would likely benefit as a society from adopting Emerson’s own pitch-type monikers.)
Envoy of Beauty (Fastball)
One might think it was made to give man the perpetual presence of the sublime. If he threw it just every thousand years, men would preserve for many generations the remembrance of it! Instead, he throws it about 50-60% of the time, and lights the universe up.
1. Stop working for a couple of minutes. Consider the American expatriate and repatriate, Karl “Tuffy” Rhodes.
2. Take as much of him into your mind as possible. Capture the three home runs on Opening Day against Dwight Gooden, his subsequent disgrace and exile. Imagine his travels along the Narrow Road to the Deep North, spiritually speaking. Add his redemption, his mastery over himself and his adopted homeland, finally shedding his gaijin status, throwing himself into the river, and once more becoming Karl Rhodes. Or read his wikipedia article.
3. Convert these impressions into musical form. If possible, write them down, upload them and link to them in the comments. Otherwise, don’t. But take the time to imagine what a song about Tuffy Rhodes would sound like. Select whichever medium, style and genre seems natural to you.
4. Click on the following link, which contains a real song not only involving Karl “Tuffy” Rhodes but actually about Tuffy Rhodes. Listen to the song.
5. Try to recall your Tuffy Rhodes, the Tuffy Rhodes of five minutes ago.
6. Consider the power of the artist to imprint him or herself upon your own feelings. Abandon your own creative vision of Tuffy Rhodes, forever lost. Curse Aristophanes once more for the death of Socrates. Eat a bagel, forgive yourself. Go back to work.
Does anyone on Twitter have any questions about Cubs second baseman Darwin Barney? You? Yes, go ahead, sir.
Was Darwin Barney wearing an ascot during the Cubs game today?
— Danny J. Lee (@whatthedleeoh) April 17, 2013
Despite appearances, Darwin Barney will not ravish the help or drunkenly crash one of his motorcars into the hedgerow. Sometimes a gentlemanly appearance veils an actual gentleman. So it is in the case of Actual Gentleman Darwin Barney.