Dear NotGraphs,
I manage a fantasy baseball team for my father. “Our” team is in 2nd place. He likes to brag to his friends that he’s the greatest Fantasy Team Owner ever, because he hired a great GM to do all the work for him. He hasn’t paid me yet, so I assume I still have time to negotiate an appropriate salary. What’s the going rate for a fantasy GM of a 2nd place team in a free fantasy baseball league?
Sincerely,
Sonofthegreatestfantasyteamownerever
The result of this afternoon’s Mets and Nationals game doesn’t matter. We’ve all already won.
Actually, now that I think about it, the result does matter. Between Dickey and Wang, who will last longer? Everything is on the line.
Enjoy, my friends, because it’s unlikely a matchup this perfect ever comes around again. It’s an amazing time to be alive.
Today, when I woke up, I felt a heavy crust over my eyes. But the crust was not a physical crust; it was, as the French say, crasse-de-la-vie, that which accumulates on our minds as we move through life, unaware. I lie in bed for a long time with this so-called crust on my eyes. I feel it weigh my eyes to the back of my skull. I spread my fingers out over the sheets. There is no reason to wipe my eyes — there is nothing actually there. There is no reason.
“I look in the mirror and think, ‘What is this thing?'”
It’s clear as day from the embedded audio below that radio voice of the Red Sox Joe Castiglione bought a cake on Tuesday. What’s less obvious is where he bought it. One of Life’s Mysteries, is what it continues to be.
Courtesy of the analysts over at MLB Network, who previewed the draft this past weekend with just about the most generic comments I can imagine. This is a cut and paste, with only the names replaced. Really, I didn’t change anything.
“This guy is one of those unique athletes that you rarely come across. He has the chance to be a once-in-a-generation player. That team needs to be thinking long term and not worry about drafting a player who is going to make an immediate impact. This guy has the chance to be a star when he reaches the majors, and he’ll be another nice piece in that team’s youth movement.”
“There are very few players that come up and make an immediate impact at the major league level. This is a sport where players go through learning stages and develop in the minor leagues. With that said, if you’re looking for that player who has the chance to make the biggest impact, I’d take this guy. He’s a middle-of-the-diamond player with a big-time arm and speed. I think his offense has to catch up to his defense, but he has high upside.”
“He’s totally projectable. He won’t be quick to the big leagues, but he’s special. He’s a grinder and usually you don’t hear that word associated with the superstar talent. Anybody who is a legend wherever they played high school sports, I always find special.”
“He’s got the right instincts to be a professional major league hitter. You’re never sure how catchers will grow offensively and its possible this guy has to move out from behind the plate. He’s hit wherever he’s played.”
“He’s a lefthander who has a good feel for the game. I always like players that get the most of out their talent because they’re smart ballplayers. I’ve seen this guy pitch a few times and I’ve seen him outsmart hitters, which is nice to see at the college level.”
“You just got hired, you know you don’t have to win right now. Don’t go with something for right now when you could miss out on a superstar. This is that team’s chance to get a future superstar.”
Amazing analysis.
The real problem with Daniel Bard — certainly way more pressing than any velocity or command issues (ahem, Dave Cameron) — is that he’s in space without a space suit. According to Wikipedia, Bard’s flesh will expand to about twice its size in the hard vacuum of space, and he’s likely to lose consciousness within the next 15 seconds due the effects of oxygen starvation. Hopefully, he didn’t just hold his breath, either, because apparently that can cause explosive decompression, which’d basically ruin his lungs.
The baseball cleared the right field fence at U.S. Cellular Field on the South Side of Chicago, past the outstretched glove of Alex Rios, and landed in the Toronto Blue Jays bullpen for a two-run home run. Colby Rasmus did what he always does: Not smile. He had business to take care of, a couple of bases to round. This is about as close as Rasmus got, even after a career night: a five-for-five performance, one that saw his wOBA rise from .304 to .326, and his wRC+ rise from 89 to 104, on the season.
Rasmus is stoic. The polar opposite of his fellow high-ceilinged teammate Brett Lawrie. And it’s been a study in contrast to watch the two of them play baseball on a day-to-day basis.
One assumes that, all appearances to the contrary, Boston reliever Alfredo Aceves isn’t a an actual pirate. On the other hand, that’s precisely the sort of thing a pirate would want you to think.
Credit to actual member of Britain’s landed gentry, Liam Milner.
Can you tell the difference between San Francisco Giants manager Bruce Bochy and noted American actor Sam Elliott? Click below to take a simple quiz.
17-year-old shortstop Carlos Correa has made history by being the first Puerto Rican player selected first in the MLB draft when he was selected yesterday by my Houston Astros. Here’s 20 things you may not have realized about him:
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