The thing is, you can’t even be mad at Ron Washington. It was 14-1. And, let’s face it, Ron Washington can dance. Better than most. Actually, Ron Washington needs to dance. And what better way to celebrate a very effective seven and a third innings from Derek Holland than with a little jig? A little Ron Washington two-step? The key, Ron Washington says, is to get your shoulders and ass into it. Let the rhythm do the work. Friday nights, Ron Washington was told time and time again growing up, were made for dancing.

The dance stops abruptly, and Ron Washington continues on his way. He’s got business to attend to. Just another day in the life of Ron Washington. Derek Holland? He enjoyed the show.

H/T: Adam of @lonestarball fame. If you’re ever in Toronto, Adam, I’ll take you dancing.

Five english-language “Haiku” (the 5-7-5 / elementary school variety) inspired by these photographs of baseball players. Pictures from the endlessly beautiful Library of Congress archive.

A woman in the
bleachers just fell deep in love
with his follow-through.
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Last night, during the seventh inning of the Phillies-Cardinals game in St. Louis, a gentleman emerged, sans pants, from the Busch Stadium stands and into the hearts of Americans everywhere. (And, immediately after that, into the arms of Busch Stadium security.)

For those readers unable to witness the event firsthand, luckily Twitter is a thing that exists. Let’s relive the excitement!

First, from Jim Salisbury of CSN Philadelphia, we get this Action News Alert:

Streaker is resisting arrest

— Jim Salisbury (@JSalisburyCSN) May 25, 2012

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This one comes to us from one of our many Midwest correspondents, Ethan Spalding. His latest from the field, via CBS Chicago’s 670 The Score, captures the greatness — did you see that frigging slide? — that is the diminutive Tony Campana.

Enjoy singing that for the rest of the day, and probably the rest of the weekend.

Little Tony. (Tony!)
Tony Campana. (Tony Campana!)
The fastest Cub north of Havana. (Cute!) …

Image credit: Bob Levey at Getty Images. Keep up the great work.

Jesse Thorn’s podcast Sounds of Young America has been invoked in these electronic pages before for an entirely capable interview Thorn did with Bill James — and Thorn himself was a guest on FanGraphs Audio in that podcast’s early-ish days.

On the most recent edition of his newest audio venture, Bullseye, Thorn interviews Mets pitcher R.A. Dickey — presumably about the knuckleball and Dickey’s recent memoir, Wherever I Wind Up. I say “presumably,” however, because I haven’t listened to it yet. Because I’m on my way to the gym. So sue me.

Click here to go to the relevant episode. The segment with Dickey begins at about the 7:30 mark.

That thing that you’re doing? Right now in presumed secret? Indians manager Manny Acta senses that you’re doing that very thing, and, if truth be told, he would like you to stop it right now …

It’s fine. Manny Acta did things like that at your age, too (albeit without such an “artisan’s attention to craft” about the whole thing). But just don’t do that again. At least not when Manny Acta is trying to have an adult conversation.

Actually, the more Manny Acta thinks about it, the more he believes that you should be utterly ashamed of yourself. What the hell, kid? In front of everyone …

Compare the following figures, O mathematically mindful reader.

VIDEO                                                                   TIME ON YOUTUBE              VIEWS

“The Shot Heard ‘Round the World”*                              5 years              917,818

“Harvard Baseball 2012 Call Me Maybe Cover”        2.5 weeks           9,577,314

* The greatest moment in the history of baseball.

The message, I trust, is clear. If we baseball enthusiasts are to reach a wider audience — and not only reach them, but touch them, intimately and repeatedly — let us take our cue from the great minds at Harvard and give the public more of what it truly craves. And make no mistake: what it craves is white men in tapered pants, moving awkwardly to popular music, preferably in some sort of quasi-synchronized fashion. I give you the following not in any effort to be comprehensive; even the most cursory search will reveal this to be merely the tippiest tip of the iceberg. No, I mean only to get you started.

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NEW YORK — Several riders of a Queens-bound 7 train confirmed Thursday the presence of a passenger not only wearing a John Franco jersey, but also matching the precise physical description of the longtime Mets closer.

“Was it him? Tough to say,” said Gordon Stavridis, 34, who rode the train all the way to Flushing-Main St. “Sure: mustache, vaguely Mediterranean features. But, honestly, that describes basically every white person in the New York area.”

Added Brooklyn native Maria Tasso, 37: “It could’ve been him, although I personally went to high school with 17 different John Francos. And that was just in my graduating class.”

Witnesses confirmed that the Franco look-alike got off at the Mets-Willets Point stop along with a slightly overweight black man of medium height in a Lenny Harris jersey.

A new app, exclusively for iPhone and available for $4.99, allows you to filter any image of Juan Pierre through a variety of cultural filters. A few examples for your enjoyment:

The Dance Craze Filter:

Uh-huh, uhn!

 
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Dear NotGraphs,

Thanks,
Jay

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