You Can’t Spell Wild Card



…which is a perfectly good reason why the Rays are going to win a wild card slot.


1. You can’t spell Wild Kard without Kuroda, although if you’re trying to spell Wild Kard, you really can’t spell.
2. You can’t spell Wild Card without Wada, as in Tsuyoshi Wada, with a 4.03 ERA in Norfolk, the Orioles’ AAA affiliate.
3. You can’t spell “You Can’t Spell Wild Card” without Yu, as in Darvish.
4. You can’t spell anything without the letters in Marc Rzepcynski’s name, since they’re all in there. And he’s on the Indians, in case you didn’t know.

And, also:

5. You can’t spell “Fail to Win The Wild Card, You Royals Fans” without Falu, as in Irving Falu, who hit .341 last year and hasn’t even gotten a single at bat in the major leagues in 2013. Poor Irving Falu!

Which all combines to tell me nothing.

Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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9 years ago


Frank Robinson
9 years ago
Reply to  FirstBleed

Division winner?