Winning Smile: Fred McGriff

As seen below, Fred McGriff is about to embark on a long career of smiling.

“Look, mom: I’m rated.”

Here, the smile that would warm so many hearts, find it’s way to so many cities and onto so many teams, into so many livingrooms, the livingrooms of our dreams, our strangest, sweatiest dreams, is yet but a smirk on a young McGriff’s superstar lips.

The smile would soon go on to win McGriff friends from all creeds and races . . .

“I love you all.”

. . . and from all reaches of reality.

“Hello, Bear, I will be your big blue house.” 🙂

His smile would persevere, even under the toughest of circumstances. Like, while he was being hunted by a Predator, for instance:

Past them trees: Iiiiiii seeeeee yooooouu.

Or while he wore hideous uniforms and played for some of the worst ownership this side of Marge Schott:

“If I have to look at the camera while wearing this, I will crack . . . a smile!”

Even when he was being paid to be Major League Super Star Fred McGriff, Humorless Tough Guy, he could not prevent joy from sneaking off of his face.

“Being a Super Star Badass is nice.” ^_^

Even when McGriff was playing with raging juicers whose careers would render his own honest quest for 500 HRs and the Hall of Fame a lost cause, he laughed on, winningly.

“Oh Sammy, the size of your head/arms/ego is hilarious.”

Even when Donruss mocked him, dangling that MVP that never was or would be.

“Oh well. I guess I am sort of an MVP of life in general.”

Even when he grew hips: smiles abound.

Even when Donruss turned him into a cartoon that one year.

“That sure is a weird rainbow sun, but I am cartoon Fred McGriff so I will roll with it.”

Some may argue that McGriff lacked style. But I ask you all, since when are vibrant-ass, contagious-ass smiles not stylish? Ok, always. But in a cynical world of frumpy frowners, Fred McGriff is and was a trailblazer. Maybe he was raised right by loving parents that taught him to be thankful for the miracle that is human life — no matter how close he came to true greatness, no matter how many times and ways he was denied it. Maybe he is just so endowed by his creator. Maybe it’s just [an imperviousness to] society. Whatever it is, to even look as happy as McGriff did is a rarity, and for that he wins. Something.

If in some strange future there opens a Hall of Fame for Smiles of All Kinds, let Frederick Stanley McGriff be its inaugural member.

Fred McGriff: ever the anti-Billy Ripken.