Why Is This Mets Prospect So Emotional?

by
August 18, 2014

Lupo

Vicente Lupo, the Mets prospect pictured in the right part of this picture, is exhibiting considerable emotion. Is it because:

  1. He realized only after waiting in line at the DMV that he’d neglected to bring either his checkbook or the requisite amount of cash to renew his license; or
  2. His parents just related, in unnecessarily graphic detail, the circumstances leading to his conception; or
  3. He accidentally read a James Joyce novel; or
  4. His hands, which are transplants from a deceased murderer, are attempting to strangle him; or
  5. His hands, which are transplants from a deceased murderer, smell terrible?

Note, of course, that there’s no correct answer. Indeed, there’s no answer at all. All human endeavor continues to be an exercise in futility.

Credit to handsome entrepreneur Jeffrey Paternostro for bringing this image to the author’s attention.





 

Carson Cistulli has published a book of aphorisms called Spirited Ejaculations of a New Enthusiast.

20 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Darkstone42
9 years ago

Carson, the answer is obvious.

f. He just learned that the transplanted hands of a deceased murderer are set on choking the life from NotGraphs.

The only solution for his considerable and well-placed woe is to #KeepNotGraphs, of course, and we must all do our parts to that most noble end.

33
steex
9 years ago
Reply to  Darkstone42

I’m certain that the above is true, and Vicente is seen in this photo attempting to overpower the hands and willfully strangle himself. Only through his own death can the hands be dead once more, a noble sacrifice from a man who wishes to ensure we are able to #KeepNotGraphs well into the future.

6