What a Barve Believes

Yesterday, former Braves reliever Mark Wohlers expressed some surprise that the NBA would be taking steps to suspend and remove Donald Sterling as the owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, for his abhorrently racist comments that we don’t really need to rehash here, except to say it’s pretty funny to hear a miserable racist philanderer complain that his bi-racial girlfriend has the temerity to publicly hang out with other people of color.

Wohlers, while not defending Sterling’s comments, tried to defend the bigot slumlord’s right to express those thoughts and keep his team:

I’m off to search for the First Amendment. Hopefully it’s around here somewhere. Be back soon #fingerscrossed

— Mark Wohlers (@MarkWohlers) April 29, 2014

Now, of course the first amendment doesn’t say what Wohlers thought it did. But that’s neither here nor there. More importantly, with his comments, Wohlers joins the elite fraternity of former Braves relievers who say and do controversial and ridiculous things that John Rocker started way back in 1999 when he engaged in his thought experiment about riding the New York City subway:

“Imagine having to take the 7 Train to the ballpark looking like you’re riding through Beirut next to some kid with purple hair, next to some queer with AIDS, right next to some dude who just got out of jail for the fourth time, right next to some 20-year-old mom with four kids. It’s depressing… The biggest thing I don’t like about New York are the foreigners. You can walk an entire block in Times Square and not hear anybody speaking English. Asians and Koreans and Vietnamese and Indians and Russians and Spanish people and everything up there. How the hell did they get in this country?”

It’s a larger group than you would’ve guessed. Here, below, is the rest of club:

Bruce Sutter: Birther

Gene Garber: Believes 9/11 was an inside job

Kerry Lightenberg: Holed up with his family in a bunker with guns and canned food. Thinks The End is nigh.

Craig McMurtry: Thinks vaccinations cause autism.

Greg McMichael: Likes the Star Wars prequels.

Cecil Upshaw: Voted for Nixon.

Alejandro Pena: Owns a remote island where he hunts the most dangerous game, man.

Mike Remlinger: Chem trails, man.

Steve Bedrosian: Puts ketchup on bratwurst.

Kyle Farnsworth: Brony.

The group is holding a spot for Craig Kimbrel on the off chance he retires and comes out as a Holocaust denier.