We Go Together Like Jose Valverde and a Hot Dog Jersey

Water finds its level, or so they say. And as human beings are roughly 70 percent water, simple logic dictates that 70 percent of humans will, eventually wind up exactly where they belong. The other 30 percent comprise the House Republicans in Congress, who built a shitty dam out of gerrymandering, prejudice, and bitterness and have managed to stay well above their level, and Nikola Tesla, who stayed well below (curse you, Edison!). But, for now, let’s concern ourselves with those of us who manage to wind up right where we belong. Like Jose Valverde, pitching at AAA in a hot dog jersey.

Papa Grande

A match made in Heaven, preordained by God Itself.

Speaking of matches. I got married nine years ago today to a beautiful and brilliant woman, with whom I was to produce two mostly not-unpleasant children. It goes without saying that this was probably the biggest mistake of her life, but she’s been willing to, quite literally, live with that mistake, and for that I’m exceptionally grateful.

And since that absentee landlord Cistulli never pays attention around here enough to know that I’m using NotGraphs to conduct my own personal business, I want to take this opportunity to tell my wife I love her, I’m grateful for her every day, and that I’m so glad that we found our level, and that that level was each other. We belong together. Darling, thanks for letting me be the Jose Valverde to your hot dog jersey for the last nine years, and for years to come.


Mike Bates co-founded The Platoon Advantage, and has written for many other baseball websites, including NotGraphs (rest in peace) and The Score. Currently, he writes for Baseball Prospectus and co-hosts the podcast This Week In Baseball History. His favorite word is paradigm. Follow him on Twitter @MikeBatesSBN.

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David Sanders
9 years ago

Well done. And congrats on the marital bliss!